If I Did Not Believe In Miracles Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

My fellow Americans...
Latinos, Blacks
Rednecks, bigots
Aztecs, Egyptians
Native Americans.
Those Chinese...
Who chartered these waters before anybody.
Mulattos...
Racists and others,
Who choose to live upon this soil...
In a hyphenated existence.
Let me make this perfectly clear,
We are emersed in tremendous dodo.

And...
Quite frankly,
We are in it to smell...
For years to come.

So...
Check this out,
I know many of you have expressed disappointment
With my presidency.
However...
Allow me to take this trip to hip you.
Wrap your collective heads around this...
Aint nobody else gonna deal with this mess,
Better than I can.
Can I get a 'holla' on that?

And...
Quite frankly,
If I did not have your best interests at heart...
Do not think,
I would subject myself...
To your overwhelming ignorance?
Think about it!
Your ignorance can overwhelm.

And if I did not believe in miracles,
As I stand before you as a testament of that fact...
Being 'your' miracle.
You all would be eating mud pies.
And I...
Well,
I'd be writing my memoirs.
Playing basketball.
And being my humble self.

And I can do 'humble' better than anyone.
Trust me!

'Mister President?
President Obama?
Do you think this kind of direct diplomacy,
Will increase your popularity with the polls?
We consult with them on a daily basis! '

I ensure you,
I am not insulted.
A little miffed!
But not insulted.

My debates have not been conducted with the Polish.
They have suffered enough from our thoughtless jokes.
And...
I will not show how much I am provoked by that question.
However,
My concerns are getting us out of this mess.

And I am hopeful our activities produce their blessings.
To one day,
Have all of us embrace the New Federation...
As one big happy family under my watchful eye.
That's it!
I aint got no mo' time for your silly questions!
I'm out.
Slip me some peace.