I Think Back When I Was A Child Poem by Tony Kavuoti

I think back when I was a child
There is so
love so
fun
livedlife so
My relatives unlived dreams filled the air like a fog.
Sometimes it was like cement, stultifying.
Other times my mind would break off from the spear and wonder
Great dreams, my own house with beautiful floors.
Dreams of glory, athlete, innovator, something great on horizon always coming through.
But those moments of love and kindness
of eating
of talking
of dealing with the frustrationsand joys of the day.

Tender moments
Overwhelmed by the pain
The frustration of the ignorance of the time and place
Adult smoking ready to take out their straps
Also adults ready to go fast in their cars with you without seatbelts
take you for ice cream at all hours of the night
Eat whatever you want at anytime you want
Watch whatever you want.
Timelessness penetrating into new worlds
creating a refuge of a particular moment, so ordinary then yet now so extraordinary
able to outlast all time.
When I am sad
A half acentury later
when I am lost
When I made another mistake
The same mistake over and over again
and there is no way out now
much less time
Always not enough time
Just like when I was a child
just like when I was thirteen
My grandmother My grandfather
They have food, on the kitchen table after school getting dark and all is well.

I dream once more through the fog now as then.

I lived a life in some ways more amazing than any of my dreams,
With unexpected depths
with beauty
with passion
with sublime understanding
with salty tropical breezes of sensation
With caring
With love
more than anything I ever dreamt.