I Hate You, I Love You Poem by Lady N

I hate you, I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her...

I hate you, because subconsciously I love you,
Memories of us invade my mind every time I'm thinking of you,
Funny how the two collide,
Or how quickly the time flies,
Seems like just yesterday I was yours and equally you were mine,
But now the distance tells a different story,
Reminiscing on what used to be and the way you used to do it for me,
But now I can't help but wonder, will things ever be the same? ,
'Cause I'm no longer sure if I could ever be the woman you fell in love with again,
Because although subconsciously I loved you, I know mentally I've changed,
Distance makes the heart grow fonder but time brings wisdom to the brain,
Realizing now, things I was once to blinded by love to see,
Like if you've never gone a day without me, how would you ever realize that you needed me?
Or how would I had ever learned that it's okay to be alone?
Or that the foundation of my black girl magic was built on being independent and strong,
And although I never needed you, still at times I find you on my mind,
Still find myself wondering, what we could've been had we invested the time,
I'm...
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing,
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance,
Although it hurts to walk away from everything we been building,
All the love you claimed you had aint worth the pain you've inflicted,
Convinced the love we had is gone,
But I guess that's just moving on,
Built a wall around my heart to protect it, cause I'll be damned if another nigga does me wrong,
I hate you, I love you... but more than anything I love myself,
So when it comes to choosing to love me or choosing to love someone else,
I choose me....
And although at a time I once loved you to my core,
I hate you, I love you, but this time I love me more