I'D Like To Be An Orthodox Jew Poem by David Whalen

I think I’d like to be an orthodox Jew
At least for a little while

Wear a black suit, and a big black hat,
For a while not be a Gentile

Try a different religion,
eat foods that sound weird

Have a big honkin’ nose
and a big, long black beard

Eat matzo stead’a pizza
And I already like marble rye

Have a real cool name like Shecky…
Or maybe even Mordicai

Have a really good feel for money
Stead of spending’ like a drunken sailor

I might just make a good Rabbi
Or maybe even a good tailor

Don’t get me wrong,
I’m not makin’ fun

Of big noses, on people
Cause I’ve also got one

I just think I’d like
to try the Jewish style

Try to have a little chutzpah in my life…
At least for a little while