I Am Afraid Poem by Elizabeth Jacqueline Mpanga

I am afraid of myself,
afraid of opening up to show my true colours
i am afraid of myself
afraid to put myself out their and let loose

i am afraid of the unknown
afraid of how people might react to the real me
i am afraid of pain
the pain that is caused by the rejection of a loved one
the pain that is caused by being judged to harshly for one's mistakes

i am afraid of my past
afraid that it will catch up with me and expose my ills
i am afraid of my shortcomings
afraid that they will come to light and ruin me
i left it all in the past, am a different person,
yet i am still afraid

i am afraid of forgiveness
afraid that if i forgive my past mistakes and people,
i won't have anyone to blame for my present failures
i am afraid of loving
afraid because i refused to love when i should have loved

i am afraid of my own shadow
afraid that i can not trust myself with another's heart
i am afraid of being kind and good
because it opens me up and exposes me to other people
i am afraid because i might get hurt

i am afraid of the present
afraid because i have no idea what my actions will result in later on
i am afraid of my fear
afraid because it will lead me to fail

i am afraid to ask forgiveness
afraid because i do not forgive easily
i am afraid of being alone '
afraid because loneliness hurts

i am afraid of rejection
afraid because deep down i just want to be loved
i am afraid of the night
afraid that my nightmares will come and get me

i am afraid of myself
afraid that i might not be good enough
i am afraid of being judged by others
yet i judge others

i am afraid of death
afraid because i don't know where i'll end up
i am afraid of myself
afraid because i do not trust myself