Hush My Sweet Newborn Poem by Barney Rooney

Ssssh hush my sweet new born
I have carefully wiped each nipple
in preparation for your tipple
the package makes a promise
to enhance its hydrolipidic balance
my hands now cleansed will smell
of antibacterial gel
so I've done my very best
and now I'll take you to my breast

ssssh hush now my sweet baby
your soft skin I'll moisturise
sodium cromoglicate for your eyes
and then wrap you in this robe
washed in germicidal soap
the air around you spray
to make the bad germs go away
I've done the best that I am able
now sleep soundly in your cradle

ssssh don't cry my dear child
nor even whimper for your teething
or the rustle in your breathing
I'll finger Bongela on your gums
spoon some Calpol to your tum
my loving duty is to try
to give the best that money buys
feel my anxious loving hand
attune my baby to the brand
spared the pain of infant cries
now my babe is medicalised