Hard Of Hearing Poem by Patti Masterman

He said, I need a lug wrench
But I heard, I need a hug wench-
And now that we have children,
I don't know what to do.

He said, get me a cold beer
But I heard, missus get over here-
And now that we have two children,
I don't know what to do.

He said, soak the clothes in Cheer
But I heard, set the clothes right here-
And now we have three children,
I don't know what to do.

He said, this house's quite icky
But I heard, let's have a quickie-
And now we have four children,
I don't know what to do.

He said, this tax is usury
But I heard, our anniversary-
And now we have five children,
I don't know what to do.

He said, there's not much headroom
But I heard, meet me in the bedroom-
And now we have six children,
I don't know what to do.

He said, no is an option
But I heard, nobody's watchin-
And now we have seven children,
I don't know what to do.

He said, I don't think I'm able
But I heard, do it on the table-
And now we have eight children,
I don't know what to do.

He said, once more just for old times sake
And then I'm leaving this nest of eight-
And then when he left me,
I went and got a hearing aid.