Falling A P A R T Poem by Kiki Marie

feeling lost && trapped inside my own head.
like i'm a prisoner serving a life sentence.
everything is falling apart.
&& i don't konw how to piece it back together.
longing for real happiness in my life.
this whole faking thing takes too much.
feeling like all the life is being sucked out of me.
not knowing where or who to turn to.
not only feeling lost && trapped, but broken.
broken heart. broken life. broken thoughts. broken feelings.
just [b]//[r][o]//[k][e]//[n]
will i ever be whole again?
whole enough to be happy...
to love the little things again...
to be who God intended me to be?
I'm laying at the bottom of the ocean.
&& i can see the surface.
When i get there, i just get knocked down by the waves.
waves of fear. guilt. anger. shame. loneliness. worthlessness.
not strong enough to make it to shore.
drowning.
with silent cries.
silent thoughs.
dead silence.
&& i'm now slipping away...