Each Day Poem by dy.sin the writer

Each day I fight to convince myself:

that it matters not what I wore
what I said before
or that I smiled
and welcomed his conversation for a while
or that I had my hair down
and not rolled tightly in a librarian bun
or that I invited him to dance
and I pranced around him in front of everyone
Each day I fight to convince myself:
that it matters not that I proudly took his hand
or I considered him a good man
or that I, like all others, thought I to be lucky
that he would choose me from the crowd
because my "no"
was a sure stand
screamed
aloud

Each night I fight to convince myself:
that it doesn't matter that outsiders
didn't hear my cry
or that they figure my words
to be bitterness on a lie
and that I'm not the one in the wrong
and it's he who should be stoned
and yet, he walks the town just fine
and broken
are my bones

Each day I fight to convince myself:

that it matters not, that their opinion matters
and that my bones will heal before they shatter
and that tomorrow the burden will be lighter
and the sun will shine brighter
and I will no longer punish this body
for letting its guard down
for the possibility of love