Did You Hear Me Cry Poem by Rishi Kaul

I passed from silence to heavenly shrieks
As a new world welcomed me in its arms
An umbilical bridge still holding two lives
And two souls breathed as one for the last time
Christened as a new born under a bright blue sky
Tell me mama
Tell me papa
Did you hear me cry?

So the saga unfolded itself in layers and rhymes
As I learned that my toys were different
And so was the sound of my chimes
To learn the first harsh lesson of my gender
Through the coarse hands of a loved one
There was no notebook nor a big black slate
Except my soul waking up to the word violate!
In those muffled sobs and silent cries
And in the tears streaming from defiled eyes
Tell me papa
Tell me mama
Did you hear me cry?

The contours of puberty take a different shape
When youth arrives unannounced in strides
Before the innocence of childhood has slumbered still
And the fall comes before the pride
I learned from mama to keep away dark secrets
And the lessons in hypocrisy
Of the honour of the divine commune
Being bigger than one woman's pride
With that I stepped into the harsh world outside
To make a life and to seek love
Passing through dark alleys and dim lit lanes
Groped fondled ogled at every step by new hands
And lusty eyes
Yet the texture never changed
And the gaze was ever the same
Of the hands that had snatched my innocence
Of the eyes that were always aflame
I scrubbed every inch of my skin
Under countless showers everyday
Afraid that one day the odour of shame
Would scar my soul with the permanence of sin
In those streams of showers
And my violent nightmares
Tell me papa
Tell me mama
Did you hear me cry?

I woke up one day to a different world
I was to be a woman in love
In a script that had been sold
For sometime my pain did ease
In the make believe of his warm breeze
I thought I touched love in a tender moment
Till those coarse hands came again to seize
In a different name and a different garb
The dirty hands smelt of power
I retreated in fear and awe to my shell again
I scrubbed again in countless showers
When I hushed my shame
In the name of your family's fame
Did you my love...
Did you hear me cry?

I've spent a life in shame
Lonely with deep regrets
But two eyes look at me with the same respect
Two eyes that belong to my daughter
Two eyes that want me to try
The little one has given me a resolve
To let go, to forgive and to move on.
Because one day when she asks me for answers
I want to tell my little one
Yes I did hear you cry
You can be sure my little one
At least I did try.