Dear Daughter Poem by Emmanuel Arunee Mwanza

Well I may have to begin with a confession
Dear daughter, this is the first time I have my pen and paper to write in ages
Dear daughter your birth...for me is like a rebirth
I am reborn, I am new
I have been a disappointment
To many
Not just you mother
Not just to you...though you may not have seen it
Dear daughter,
I am emotional
Your birth showed that I can get scared too
I was afraid for your mum
For a moment, I was afraid for you, about this ask your mother
At this moment you probably are in a wander land, thinking..is this it? the confession?
Well, dear daughter, your ababa loves you, your ababa cares for you always remember that
Your ababa, will do anything to have you smile and when you cry, you have made the emotional me even more emotional
Dear daughter, your ababa is reborn
Your birth has moulded me
Your birth has made me brand new
I am like a map that was leading my life astray
But you have been that sharp pencil that is slowly rewriting my life
The wrongs now are going right
The lows now overflowing
The sadness to joy
The hopelessness now fullness of hope
We are now flooded with expectations going into each day
Expectations of seeing you grow old
Expectations of seeing you excel
Expectations of you making us proud
Expectations of coming back home to your hugs
Can I tell you something?
I wanted to name you after your great grandma, because it's the same love she had for me that I have for you...
Maybe beyond...
Can I tell you something
Let your life be moulded after kindness
Let your kind be built with love
And paint your face with that huge sunny smiling face
I will be happy to watch you grow, I mean what else can I want other than that?
I am happy each time I hear that gibberish new language you have brought into our home
Not Chitumbuka, not Chichewa, not Chinsenga, not English not even the very roots of Zulu or Ngoni of your ancestors
But that language that I copy and speak too...
So I will always be your dada
And I will always protect you
Dear daughter...
Imagine me with tears as I am finishing this
Because I will always cherish and love you
My nana, dear daughter