Cycle Of Life Poem by Lucky Sinner

i see the happiness of my lyf
the perfect world i wished for
a group of frnds on whm i can rely
the luv of my lyf who is there for me
the perfect world i wished for
hoping and prayin to god
tht everythin remains the same thru out
suddenly my eyes open up to see
tht i m sittin on the ledge
turned around to see where i am
i was alone out there, bt i found a cigarette pack nd a lighter
removed a fag out of it
nd lit the cig, i could hear the cig burn
as i saw the smoke rise up
my thots started runnin astray
the dream i had wasnt far frm reality
i did have everythin i wanted
nd i stood there watchin em drop down
like the ash drops down a cigarette butt
i wonder if its karma hittin me bak
or is it just me fukin it up
for cant all my relationship fail
i have done the best i can to keep em
bt i have failed my self or shud i say my better halves
i wonder whilst i waste my lyf amokin this cigeratte
do they still think abt me
or have i been completely erased of their lyf
i finish my cigeratte butt it off
nd look up to see the sky
to see hw beautiful an empty dark sky looks lyk
wch made me wish, ppl wud see the beautiness in my soul too
the dark soul wch i carry around
the sad truth, my better halves end up learnin
the bitterness of the type of person they trusted
to take me off the thot, i light another cigarette
while i lit the cigeratte i saw the bright flame
as it danced to the flow of wind in frnt of my eyes
it made me wonder if thts hw lyf is
r we supposed to dance to the tune of fate
is there ntn i can do change it
i inhaled the smoke, lettin it out
wch made me think again
y do i take smethin inside wen i noe i have to let it go
irony of life everythin is metaphorically related to each other
we take ppl into our lyf tho we know they myt leave us
wen we do know tht they myt leave
y does it still hurt wen they do
is it tht i havent prepared myself enough
or is it tht one cant get used to the pain
i take another drag, lettin the smoke fill in my lungs
wandering off to another thot
thot i had seen enough in my lyf
seen a lot of ppl change
thot i wud b able to get thru with it
as i have already experienced nd felt the pain
bt y does it hurt still, when the person u cared for has changed
i let the smoke out of my lungs while thinkin tht
gettin ready to take another puff
i stopped myself wonderin
is there anythin i can do change things
can i get them bak
can i make my dream into reality
i tuk a deep breath, this time with no smoke in my lungs bt fresh air
tryin to get a new fresh start
bt i wonder, as the fresh wudnt have done mch gud to the lungs
as it is already spoiled due to the smoke
wil this positive thinkin make much difference to my lyf
which is filled to the brim with negativity
i got up frm the ledge, streched a bit, took another deep breath
and walked away frm there
decidin to not look back
not to look at the amount cigerattes i have smoked
neither at the type of past i have had