Constipation Poem by Dr Hitesh Sheth
Constipation
An urban teacher recently transferred to a rural school
Had complaint of, ‘Inability to pass his stool’.
His wife thought, “Husband may be speaking lie
Let me take him to Freud- City’s sexiest guy.”
Freud boasted, “I can cure this illness in fifty sittings
But since it is an emergency, I will call psychiatrist’s meeting”.
He decided to call psychiatrist all
And they gathered in a big conference hall.
Freud started, “Pt is fixated at phallic stage
And harbors suppressed sex and repressed rage.”
Karl Jung shouted angrily at Sigmund Freud
“You always bring sexuality, Are you Freud or fraud? ”
Then he mocked at Freud, “Do you have brain or bladder
You cannot diagnose even a simple matter”.
Sigmund Freud confessed, “You all know I am sexually perverted
But you also know, personality cannot be reverted.”
Then he added shyly, “Phallus comes in my mind uppermost
When I see pen, pendulum, pillar or post.”
Then Jung added, “It is a simple case of fight
Between a conscious complex and an unconscious archetype.”
Anna Freud said to Jung, “You are speaking in jest
Otherwise go east or west my father is best.”
Alfed Adler said, “I can see with clarity,
It is an obvious case of organ inferiority.”
Maslow interrupted, “Pt has problem in climbing a pyramid
So please give him some push from behind.”
“It is ‘birth trauma’ blurted out ‘A Man in Black’”
When all look on their back, it was Otto Rank.
Adolf Meyer said, “There is no need to guess
It is a simple case of, ‘reaction to life stress’”.
“Basic Anxiety” Karen Horney spoke anxiously
But as usual no one took her seriously.
Briquet guessed, “It is a conversion disorder and secondary gain
There is no pain without gain”
Erickson said- flashing his mobile Ericsson-
“It is a problem of stage transition.”
Heinz Kohut said, “Pt is not getting job satisfaction,
Because he is not getting ‘narcissistic gratification’.”
“It is an adjustment disorder”, spoke SHETH HITESH
Everyone look at him with interest.
Pt said, “You all fool, Don’t loss your cool
I’m not passing stool, because there is no latrine in the school.”
Dr Hitesh C Sheth
27/09/2008
Wow... Dr Hitesh... all great known theories from the history of abnormal clinical psychology combined in such a wonderful and light way in this piece by you... Sometimes I too wonder, why in Psychiatry or Psychology; we professionals make simpler things complicated and add subjectivity and prejudice of our own minds... You have beautifully communctaed what you wanted to say in a very light mood... Complicated things made simpler... Well done... Regards, Kamran
true phases of man between the dents of globalization... 10+
A great mountain of psychological wisdom with an powerful inductive ending.10/10 Well written.
Hilarioius...you certainly didn't have any problems passing words here!
Freud Jung all came as psychoscopic-analyst climaxed in last line ‘…I’m not passing stool, because there is no latrine in the school.”’ Is it absent toilet syndrome [ATS]? Voted 10++ Ms. Nivedita UK PS Sir clicked as my favorite poem… n
beautiful write from doctor's point of view and descent one.....10
Oh My God! Its hilarious. This is one of your best poems. You haven't spared any psychiatrist. I wanted someone to present Freud and his theories, in this way.
your DETACHED DISSECTION WAS HUMOROUS.......TO SAY MORE i KNOW NOT! !
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/7/2024 3:41:03 AM # 1.0.0.1119
At the clinic The nurse listened carefully Then spoke with authority. '| know you have concern And there is so much for you to learn So I will prescribe a binder for you One that will help you with what you do. Something to avoid the distress And perhaps making a mess. What you need is a binder That will help you to keep together That which is unpleasant At the moment.' The patient said (So I am told) : I don't understand why I need a notebook to hold All these papers and other things What I need is something that brings An answer to my diarrhea Excuse me, I've got to go.' s