Bluest Roses Poem by Patricia Ruiz

I have always like rose flowers but not fully bloomed, not bloomed fully
I had an ideal perfect rose that was colored blue or blue in color for me
I fantasized of my love one day suprising me
I wanted one day for him to sweep me off my feet
The perfect day
In the perfect way
Just him and me
And on that day
Blue roses I would see
The roses would be blue that he gave me
I wanted so much to feel important, sexy, and pretty maybe
In some way be reminded by my love...
" momma I love you and your everything to me "
Of course it's a fantasy
When you know it'll never be true
Which is probably why I had yet to see
Roses that were blue
Then one day I had explained
My ideal perfect flower, I explained a blue rose
And how I've yet to see that perfect rose
Was then told that was because it's not how a rose grows
So some how some way I'd have to make it myself I suppose
If I had it my way, blue roses is what I would have chose
For reasons that except GOD himself know one knows
And then one day
I saw on display
A beautiful bouquet
Of blue roses you see
I fantasized that someone picked them for me
I thought they were pretty and stood there and froze
As I stood and admired the bluest rose
I remembered some one telling me
It's a funeral flower... And so I thought well maybe
In death someone might give them to me
I'll just have to wait until then to see
Time went by as so life went by
And one day life had happend to me
And had a few things taken from me
I was having a little boy... I've already got 3
So #4 was coming to be part of our family
Lifes decision was to bring to a halt the life inside me
Still cant help but to think original plans had included me
I'm just thankful I'm here now to be saying
These things that I'm saying
I'm so glad people love me and started praying
For me and my baby
They prayed for our staying
I was even put down again
Because bleeding kept happening
I woke up from that still in the woods
Hoping to be told things that were good
My baby was fragile this I understood
I didnt think he would die I didnt think he would
But sadly he did
I got my blue Rose's the day he was buried
Blue Rose's on top of the tiny casket my 3 kings carried
I thought oh my babys so sweet he sent some blue Rose's to me
My eyes filled with tears when I thought this
Because I did not want to receive blue Rose's like this