Being Phony Poem by Melanie Walendowsky Baker

I can't seem to resist
the need to push away,
and always desist
when my heart goes astray.

I'm hurtful and mean
and sometimes cold,
even when I am keen,
I fit into this mould.

I pretend I don't care
even if I do.
My heart I won't bare,
so I keep it untrue.

It's sad and it's lonely
but that's how I hide.
I suppose I am phony
when my two worlds collide.

It's hard being me
holding onto the fear.
I want to be free
and always sincere.

I'm losing too much
being this way.
I'm so out of touch
and you never will stay.

(London,2003)