Melanie Walendowsky Baker

The earth that supports
the path where I tread.
The smiles and the laughter
and you in my head.
...

I wonder if I left you
A part of me behind.
I wonder if you knew
Exactly what I'd find.
...

When despair comes knocking
There’s no one home
Gone out shopping
And not alone
...

and so it creeps back
this unyielding thorn,
when the defenses crack,
and certainty's torn.
...

I know I'm a burden
to those who love me most.
I know I've become someone
resembling a ghost.
...

I can't seem to resist
the need to push away,
and always desist
when my heart goes astray.
...

dark thoughts that
no one shares
i look the same so
no one cares.
...

I'm not back where I started,
but I'm back in a familiar zone
with familiar feelings of rejection.
I'm back with my old friend:
...

The angels have gone,
they said they couldn't stay.
They said they were tired
of keeping my demons at bay.
...

The angel in me speaks
of angels long gone and dead.
He speaks of hopelessness
so thick that in me spreads.
...

I can see the angels
when her eyes sparkle
just before she laughs.
...

I'm so determined
I have no idea how,
but I need to leave this place -
it has to be now.
...

I know that there might
be one who'll break through,
I know that there might
be one who'll reach deep inside.
...

What is the truth
when you don't know
who you are?
...

the silence, the aching,
the numbness, the pain.

the wonder, the lightness
...

I'm exhausted and weary
but you're on my mind.
So goodbye dreary
you're the light that I find.
...

My Dark Side
I try to shield.

To Darkness, though,
...

Where are you, Soul,
when I need you most?

You've gone somewhere
...

Does it ever leave you,
the panic and despair?
Do you survive somehow
when hope just isn't there?
...

with memories alive
of the undead,

how can i cope
...