All I Needed Was A Tight Hug...! Poem by Chitresh Jhawar
All I Needed Was A Tight Hug...!
The real one which I wrote:
From the onset of my life
where daily my soul cried
for a one who was mine
who would have asked if i was fine
is this enough?
for my life which is rough
from my infancy to now
I want only one thing from everyone but how?
after dealing every situation
after giving any reaction
after crying alone in bed
after being cursed and sad
after getting ready for school
after I was called a fool
after giving my exams
after solving the questions which were damned
after I was awaken hungry
after I was beaten lonely
after I was left alone
after I proposed you
after you said to me NO!
after I was embarrassed
after I was completely depressed
after I attempted suicide
after I was dead but somewhere still alive
All I needed from each one of you was a very very very tight
HUG...!
After reading some comments, I made the following changes for the word, 'after'.
From the onset of my life
where daily my soul cried
for a one who was mine
who would have asked if i was fine
is this enough?
for my life which is rough
from my infancy to now
i want only one thing from everyone but how?
-while dealing every situation
and giving any reaction
-when crying alone in bed
after being cursed and sad
-before getting ready for my school
-for no reason i was called a fool
-after giving my exams
and solving the questions which were damned
-when I was awaken hungry
-after I was beaten lonely
-when I was left alone
-after I proposed you
-on the moment you said to me NO!
-after I was embarrassed
making me completely depressed
-also when I was attempting suicide
and was dead but somewhere still alive
all I needed from each one of you was a very very very tight
HUG...!
I disargree with the other comments. I think the best part of this is the way you used the word after. I think it makes it distinct and original and it should force true poets to think. AFTER all isn't that what poetry is about. Analyze it deeper
no i think the anaphoric one is better..that's my point of view..but i think as a poem writer you have to change 'u' to 'you'...and the 'very very very very' in the last verse can be changed to extremely or something like that because it isn't poetic.I found the poem beautiful and i'll go through the other poems..please read my 'forget me not'. thanks for sharing
After life takes you down, when you stand back up sometimes you need a hug. Hugs make everything better! =) nice poem
nicely written poem. only thing is that i got lost with all the after's. other wise a great poem!
another hug sent your way - ha ha u'll get claustrophobic! nice writing - keep at it - SG
definately u' recieve a hug frm me...! ! dis poem is full f emotions and precision
i love both of them to me there great sounds like a guy and me if you wana hear the story just ask
greate job, keep writing u so talented man. keep up. i'll keep reading
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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5/5/2024 1:04:59 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Your poems are filled with great deal of passion which makes them worth reading... however the source of this passion in your life must be disturbing to you. If you are sad and unhappy... try to find a reason to that. We all commit mistakes... God knows I have not a bundle but an ocean full of them, but heck, so what? What's life without our set of sorrows; what are we to laugh on if they are not there? I am certain, you will find people who will understand you; have some faith.