She Killed Me Poem by Chitresh Jhawar

She Killed Me

Rating: 4.2


The day when she accepted my love
we both were two happy doves
as we used to understand each others' feelings;
talking, sleeping, muttering and loving.

I always said, 'i love thee'
but i never understood why she killed me.
She shot the bullet straight to my heart
She planned it further, she had the chart.

I was a celibate, I never asked you to change it
I ask you for the reason, was it because I was an addict
to you i was truthful, i never hid anything
I was exulted of our love and was prepared to sing

the song of love to propose you
to tell, 'i love u marry me, will it be true? '
Fidelity was all through my veins
i was just about to say, but it rained.

I thought God is with me setting the situation
but I was unaware that it was my termination
I did not speak a word to her and we began to move
hand in hand with everything approved.

We walked and walked and walked alone
before it could flub, I wanted to say it all.
The rain stopped, again I thought
'god left me, now I must trot.'

I kneeled down and she seemed surprised
I took out my ancestral ring and looked her in the eye
I don't know how I said it, but it was true
'Darling, marry me...will you? '

She took the ring; laughed; ran away
but she did not wear it, anyway
I was delighted, delirious, doolally, she was my doxy
I ran behind her, softly took her hand in mine and called for a taxi

We reached my duplex, my hand was still holding her hand
I took her in my arms 'sorry if I'm mistaken; I'm untrained.'
We went inside, I was curious what she will do next
inside the room, she asked me to sit beside the chest

She looked at me and I looked at her
And we just sat like that there for an hour
She kissed me goodnight and whispered those three words
I took her home safely and returned.


That night I coulnd't even fall asleep
fantasizing; I've fallen in love to the very deep
I was dreaming of her, and our future
but soon the game was changed completely by nature.

The sun rose, but I couldn't control
I ran towards her home, passing every hurdle and hole
I was curious to know about her
but I'm evasive to this what I saw there.

I saw her on another man's lap, under a tree
she was saying things to him, she never said to me
I saw her finger with a new wedding ring
one tear rolled down my cheeks and it fell on my ancestral ring

I bent and took my ring, looked at it continuously
but in anger I threw it at her head drastically
They looked on my crying face
but I didn't want to disturb them, so i begin to leave that phase

I was going away, my face down and hands still
then came the noise of a bullet, it was on me, i was killed
they were roistering, and i was falling down with blood
and then i turned and died watching her happy face which was a little disturbed.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Rahul Aithal 18 December 2009

i saw her on anothers man's lap, under a tree she was saying things to him, she never said to me i saw her finger with a new wedding ring 1 tear rolled down my cheeks and it faled on my ancestoral ring Very nice!

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Apurva Jain 23 December 2009

this poem is actually a master piece............. really herst touching!

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Tricia Dildine 24 December 2009

yep this pretty much is a masterpiece! great job

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Lady KrimZen 29 December 2009

This is an example of my favourite Romance Genre: Cheap and Tawdry Romance. Brilliant genre to write in. I see this poem as a Narrative Poem; which is why, I think, this could be a great poem for Verses (or parts) . Could have done with some similes in this poem. Would have help bring out a stronger image and created a more poetic sense. Usually, similes (if used correctly) are a key element in Romance Poetry. Otherwise, it sounds quite sloppy and overdone. But that is my opinion; I hate the Romance Genre (excluding Cheap and Tawdry Romance) . Stanza 1 through to 14, can be classified as Mature Romance (or in some cases, Teen Romance) , whilst Stanzas 15 to 17 is classified as Cheap and Tawdry Romance. In my honest opinion, I really did not like this poem. Lacks a lot of emotion; until we reach the last stanza. That is when we finally feel and sense some real emotion. I think, you have tried to 'tell' us the story; instead of 'showing' us the story. Hence the lack of emotion. You can improve this poem by including a lot more figurative and emotive language. That will start you off in the editing process.

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The Devil From Hell 07 April 2010

Dude it sounds like someone ripped your heart out and shoved your face in the mud on a rainy day. Then ate your heart. Harsh. but I love it! ♥

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Maria Rose Dominic 14 July 2011

All ur poems make me want 2 smile n cry at the same tym. Obviously u r very talented.. i lyk ur works- keep sharing hope u r not a sad person.. do fidn smthng cheerful n write ok?

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Dwi Utami 06 August 2010

Wew..good write of you. BUT she killed you? You love she and you also will marry with she..i'thought she cannot kill you.but certainly she love and wanted marry with you: p: p: p+10 congrats great.

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Andy Brown 03 June 2010

It had a nice flow and yes I will read it again- thanks for sharing.

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Deepthi Vincent 18 May 2010

This one really touched my heart... Good work Chitresh: -)

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Kieran J96 18 May 2010

great poem, carry on writing!

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Chitresh Jhawar

Chitresh Jhawar

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