A Pee Poor Start Poem by George Hunter

Woke up this morning at the crack of my back,
Knew it was awfully early to get out of the sack.
Tried to doze back but it was no use,
The clock was reading oh four oh and a deuce.
Why so awake? I hadn’t any clues
But I got up and slipped on my shoes.
Thought I heard a strange humming,
Sure enough some water was running.
Toilet valve stuck and wasting water
Glad I’d woke up and lucky to have caught her.
Got all dressed and went to the kitchen
Then I had a cause to really start bitchin’
A herd of black ants had invaded my sink,
It was enough to drive a guy to drink.
Should have policed up the dishes last night
Then I wouldn’t have these ants to fight.
Got out the aerosol and gave a good spray
Enough to drive these pismires away.
If you want to get technical, by the way,
They’re named Hymenoptera Formicidae.
Killed most but a couple did linger
And managed to bite me on my finger.
If any more hadda got me, it would have been a crock,
And I would have died of antipasto shock.
That ordeal over, I had a cuppa Joe
Sat down and turned on the radio.
Leaned back to rest my head,
Was just going to rest but fell asleep instead.
With a day’s start like this, knew I shoulda stood in bed!