A Note To The Friend Who Left Poem by Kat Smith

I never understood how someone could lie about love.

Maybe not on purpose.

But say '' I Iove you'' and somewhere inside, not mean it.
I never understood that.
I never understood why my love wasn't good enough.
I never did.

And i still don't
As I sit by while my friends complain about being alone and friendless
And all i can think is

'' I'm right there''

But I don't say it aloud
I don't allow my words to forsake the silence
I let my poke at their obvious ignorance slip by.

And then
when they're gone
when they're through with me
and they've moved on

I think

''maybe I should have said it''

pointed out that I loved them
pointed out how much I care
how much I did care
how much I STILL care


Maybe I should have mentioned it
how their every hurt, set me off on a course to blind vengeance
how, if I could, I would give up everything of mine to have one more day to make them understand.
and then I realize

''I did tell them''

I told them often and frequently.
I told them when they were sad and when the were happy.
I told them
'I love you''

and they ignored me
so why do I care?
because when I said that I loved them I was telling the truth
because when I said that I would do anything for them I was serious

Completely serious

But I don't think they understood that
so I'll wait


And bide time

hands folded in my lap

staring calmly
silently
at the opposite wall
unmoving

In my caring
like a loyal abandoned toy soldier

Ill wait for you to come back
and dust me off
make me feel shiny and new
to hold me and love me
and let me love you

so yes I will sit
like a toy
in a closet
an attic
a chest
waiting for the chance to love again

so if ever on your road you find yourself needing a friend
remember my door is open

''hello'' is all it takes to be my friend again