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Aria Siren


9 Days Clean


I was 9 days clean of you
I washed myself free of you
I burned your name away from my parting lips
I chopped you from my hair with brash clips

And the shaking starts in short tempers
And I quiver and gag as my body remembers
The feeling of yours in the same room
And my legs jerk as I rip your stiches from this loom

And I stretch myself across a busy highway
And ask to be pulverized as I lay
And I wonder how long it will take to erase
The mark my body leaves on this place

So it breaks my bones and sends me back to your clutch
A cripple, leaning on this crutch
I was 9 days clean of you
But I'll never really be free of you...

Submitted: Tuesday, January 08, 2013
Edited: Tuesday, January 08, 2013

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  • Rookie - 72 Points Yash Shinde (3/23/2014 11:54:00 PM)

    a great powerful poem.....lovely short influential stanzas and words......great description of how difficult it is to forget someone... (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Søren Valentine (5/20/2013 8:16:00 PM)

    And the shaking starts in short tempers
    And I quiver and gag as my body remembers
    The feeling of yours in the same room
    And my legs jerk as I rip your stiches from this loom


    A. R. I. A.

    I absolutely genuinely love this stanza sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much! ! ! ! ! It is simply amazing. i love the picture it gives me, the feeling of frustration and anger and sadness. The last line makes me picture you as crying and screaming (no, your scary face is not present in my vision lol) yet I also picture you feeling intense pain, as if the loom was your very flesh.

    I must agree with me mate Kieran, the very last line of this poem is so sad but so beautfiul. I hate that feeling, as if you'll never get over someone...

    Those were my favourite parts. Great job...awesomefantasticalness! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Kieran J96 (5/17/2013 2:32:00 PM)

    But I'll never really be free of you... This is really sad, especially as the imagery you use is so bold and vivid. The way you've written it is amazing though, its the essence of the relationship put into words; i's amazing. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 13 Points Benjamin Michael Clark (4/9/2013 4:58:00 PM)

    This is Amazing. I can relate to it like most people. I really like the line 'I burned your name away from my parting lips, ' it's very visual & I can almost feel the burn. I am going to have to read your other work! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 765 Points Thomas A Robinson (3/2/2013 6:41:00 PM)

    Truly in the clutches of a bad relationship. To do this much damage to yourself cannot be good.Your poem
    renders such pure emotion it is hard to bear. Great poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Tiger Lily Love (1/23/2013 1:50:00 PM)

    Wow this poem sent chills down my spine it was so good! It was intense, honest, and had great imagery. I don't have a favorite line because I loved it all! Good job (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Alla Simone (1/18/2013 10:56:00 PM)

    The second and third stanzas are my favorite. This reads to me as a Striking description of a deeply emotional battle. This poem really makes an impact. 'And the shaking starts in short tempers.' That's how it always a starts, isn't it? Stitches being ripped from a loom is clever. Also especially enjoyed: 'I wonder how long it will take to erase the mark my body leaves on this place.' (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Alexis ... (1/13/2013 6:24:00 PM)

    This was a very powerful poem.....my favorite part are the last two lines....its an honest realization (Report) Reply

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