Michael Philips Poems
I set off a stink bomb
At the art opening of bad art.
It was funny how everyone started
Looking around as if they
Would somehow be able to see the smell.
People began fanning their faces
With their programs and an Asian
Woman actually held her nose.
When they discovered I was the culprit
They roughly escorted me out
Of the gallery and the owner told me what I
Did was adolescent and stupid.
I said the smell was only bad
In his subjective mind – who’s to say what’s
A good smell and what’s a bad smell? But
He had already gone
Back inside to help ...
A Shitty Valentines Day
Just shut up already about herbal remedies, I told her.
This was on Valentines Day, hours before Sally fed
my dog some herbal medication
and he brewed butt coffee
and lost it all over my house after she left.
When I came home greeted by brown valentines
on my shoes, rug, and - omigod - headphones,
I had to walk around outside to calm down
before I picked up the phone.