Kaz Kawasaki

“Early to Bed, Early to Rise
Makes a man healthy wealthy and wise”
This is what I was told once
But as I sit here eating the same corn flakes
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Sticky notes of my life
Attempts to organize spill over my desk
They cover my computer with moss-like intensity
Violate my notebooks with the reverence of habit
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Tears touch the dust
A boots kneel to the ground.
There are times when all strength fails.
When the loss of the irreplacable occurs.
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Africa
The heart of darkness
Land of blood red diamonds
...

I thought of something quite brilliant
not too long ago,
and where that thought escaped to
god will only know.
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I called out as you opened up the door
I should say something to explain
What I had done before
And even if it doesn’t change
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We cool
We reject school
Drive Fast Rock Hard
SMASH ROUND ESCAPE THE GUARD
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My vision would shock you.
Turn your world upside down.
Throttle your innocence
And throw it to the ground.
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We are what we eat
So that means in a week
My form will take shape of
A bologna and cheese
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Whenever I think of my family
I think of others who have none
And though I suppose I should be grateful
I feel that I understand their pain
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A Dream Fulfilled

A King’s dream vibrates throughout the span of time
Indelible within the memories of our present rhyme
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We are not who we perceive to be
And We are not who others think they see
Our lives are secret to you and me
With blank spaces fill our fantasy.
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When I dream
I dream of nights.
Of Parisian Spain,
Cafés glittering with lights.
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It's the cliche phrase
A self fulfilling prophecy
Passed from one generation to another
Time goes faster, as you grow older
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I sit on a stone, as I stare into the sun. The red dust settles at my feet as I strike my best “thinking man” pose. Here, in the vacuum of space, I can finally be silent. I can scream my thoughts to the eternities, and still be satisfied with the noise, or lack there of. And I meditate, with my eyes open. My chest heaves the invisible air and my skin hugs the cessant breeze. Half a century ago, this would not have been possible. To face the sun while the blue marble of earth passes by. Today, it is only possible for me. All others chose death, I chose to live... which is a fate worse than death. Soon I must return home, I will hear the same people, eat the same food and watch the same sun. But right now, now is perfection. Because when you live for eternity, you learn to live in the moment in full appreciation.
My future started with a broken leg. I was 19, old enough to decide my future, young enough to not know any better. I had been working out, quite vigorously. In those day, I was full of patriotic vigor. The mission I had chose to accept, was the be the best soldier; smarter, wiser, faster and stronger than anyone I might face. I spent late nights making myself better, I gave everything I had to the moment. I was going to make a name for myself. I was going to make my own name, rather than my father, or the company he started. And it all started when I joined the military.
It began as a threat, my failing grades and immature behavior had broken the back of my parents. I couldn’t go to college, and I didn’t want to go. But working where I was at, I was never going to find the life I wanted. $8.50 an hour doesn’t pay for a family, a sports car, and early retirement. Within a month, I had signed onto the Air Force, and I was going to be a linguist.
Basic training was tough, but it taught me how to take a hit. Technical school was even tougher, but it taught me who I was. It was during this time that I broke my leg, trying to be all I could, and failing. Those two months were the worst two months of my life, sitting in my dorm room, not being able to train; weekends indoors, weekdays with only class to break the boredom. I was angry, because my body had failed me, and I had failed my body. I wanted to be unbreakable. I wanted to be made out of steel and bullets. I wanted to know that I would never break down, I would always be strong for my fellow soldiers, and I would always be able to perform my duty to the best of abilities. Armed with this desire, I went to BioStrong.
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I enter the gym
I try to look grim
determined
ready to tackle the mountain that is my workout
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I sit here gazing at my computer screen
Searching for the next word, sentence, idea to jot down.
I look up at the existing writing:
Select All > Delete.
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Sometimes everything seems so fake
This chair I’m sitting on isn’t here
And the desk I’m writing on is non existent
Like the world is a perfect balance
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When I was 16 years old
I began to wonder
How it is that life should unfold
And my world was torn asunder
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