RoseAnn V. Shawiak Emptiness Poems

Lying upon a bed of heartache, heart beating senselessly,
mind disappearing into another dimension where life is
not cruel, but loving and beautiful.
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Taking moments into my mind, watching them over and over
into the night, reliving all the feelings that went along
with them.
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Silent voices now whispering from the past, retelling
mysteries of old memories that take me away, reminisce-
ing and holding them close to my heart and soul.
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Living in pieces of life's puzzle scattered across my mind,
searching, looking for a final picture that will eventually
bring it all together.
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Music touching an interior sky, lifting me solemnly into
an interior life, noticing the emptiness surrounding me
on earth.
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Tears of dark emptiness fall slowly from my eyes,
each drop bringing with it a piece of my heart.

Soaked through with sorrow, head hung limply from
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Women learn early on in life that love is fickle and
untrue, learning that trust can never be given for
there is no reasoning or logical answer to be given
through the years.
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Shadows of being, walking down hallways of lasting memories,
touching them individually, bringing them to life.

Wanting to relive each one in their vibrant stages from
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Rounding out this being through writing poetry, letting it fill
the voids found in this life, all the emptiness being felt, lone-
liness holding it's hands through the years.
...

Soothing, touching literal meanings of my heart as I
write unexhaustedly forever in moments of time, un-
ceasingly being motivated and inspired within.
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There's no one to hear my prayer, just an emptiness
and a void penetrating the center of my heart and
life.
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Riding around town has left me feeling lost and down tonight,
usually it helps pick me up and makes things better.

What is wrong? What is different about this dark and lonely
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Lights dancing prayerfully across the horizon, focusing their
brilliance in many directions all at once.

Stirring imagination, tugging at memories past, wishing for
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Living in an emptiness caused by the frailty of being
human, not knowing how to combat it at times, existing
in chaos, turmoil and stress.
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Chill of death in the atmosphere, taunting me with the
wonder of Tushar's life, the brilliance of his mind,
letting me remember it all vividly through intellect.
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Sitting in depths of lonely abandonment, no one here to
talk or reach out to, wanting only to isolate and not be
a part of anything in this life anymore.
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Wending my way through the emptiness of life now that
you have died and left me, heart hurting so deeply with
your misfortune.
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Facing loneliness in a moonlit night, stars twinkling
above, showing their caring and compassion for our
predicament.
...

Racing along, passing each moment in time through
living and keeping pace with the tones and rhythms
of each other.
...

Settling into hearts everywhere, an inherent lonely
emptiness fills us with the essence of our human nature.

No mistaking the abandonment we all find in our lives,
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Knowing you through all these years, loving and standing
by you, nothing could ever turn me from your heart.

When emptiness touches my being, I think of you and how
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Echoing into canyons of emptiness - alone - deserted
from without - a world forlorn and abiding no one.

Sending recriminating sadness to outer lengths of
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Blocked in this naked world, clothed with desire and
apprehension, never deciding which direction to head
or continue.
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Desires rising like ocean waves and ebbing
like tides of eternity.
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Sensing ivories within, delicately touching their feelings,
jostling words to fit their descriptions of melodies as
they play intently and joyfully in harmony with intellectual
ironies and factual tunes of creativeness.
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Galloping down desert canyons, feeling the beauty of their
absolute loneliness touch my spirit as I ride through them.

Scraping along my mind, etching the arid landscape into my
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Waiting for an event to begin,
life carefully flows forward
into adjacent aisles of creativeness,
filling pockets of emptiness with
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Submerged in black ink, totally down, saddened beyond compare.
Knowing there's no way to escape this downward spiral into a
hell of unknown furor, I turn away from life's existence,
burying self beneath earth's rhyming death of birth.
...

Secreted in a tunnel of natures' foliage,
trying to stay away from life for a while.

Taking steps further into catacombs,
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Filling the emptiness with writing poetry,
lying aside the tears as they form interiorly.
Collecting mischievous notions, smiling at
their innocence as they wait to be exposed
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Prescient thoughts being brought into the picture,
having come from beyond and alighting upon the
dirge of interior tomorrows.
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Energy bursting from my mind,
looking to be used in any form of periodic sadness.
Wiping tears from behind my eyes, lest someone espy
them before I can hide them.
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Trembling with emotion,
feeling tightened in a barrier of isolation.
Trying to break free, easing slowly out of
life and into another form of life on the edge.
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Life is exacting precision with emotion thrown in to
send us spinning, never knowing where we're going at
any given time.
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Life, real life, can be so totally beautiful as it
pertains to nature.

Alas, when talking about human nature, there is no
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Resting in a place of emptiness, losing myself in
the atmospheres of yesterday's sadness.
Grief always standing around every corner, waiting
to continue it's journey as we walk into it's path-
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Perspectives of life are ever-changing,
revolving towards destiny's ends while
living moments in timeless energy.
Tantamount to universal ideas, an
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Living an existence without hope,
I sit in silent emptiness,
belonging to no one and hanging
onto empty promises.
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Reaching for emotional contents, letting them flow, erupting into a puddle left on a sidewalk one day.
Sorrow spilling across the floor, as Sam plays his harmonica in grief of silent undertakings, ground to pieces of emptiness left alone in the dark.
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Reaching into depths of self, finding spacious rooms of loneliness and grief.
Touching my heart and soul with a flood of emotions, rolling over me in a momentous situation of life.
Tangled in webs of emptiness, I let go and fall into the abyss of a lonely life, away from the world and universe.
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Granules of life are thrown about, never collecting themselves for important moments along life's trails.
Forgotten feelings take us all on journeys away from our purposes, neglecting needs of another human being coming close to our situations in life.
Talking heart-to-heart - missed - because another makes a choice to despise and hate you for no known reason.
Leaving you in a mire - not one of your own making - and stranding you in a lonely pit of emptiness for the rest of your life.
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Computing moments can be hazardous to health if you get caught up in their exchanges.
Living on lines of emptiness, all those who are helpless fall short of anything the future may hold.
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A growing emptiness hiding inside, wanting to be acknowledged and known throughout the universe.
Delaying its entrance can only last so long, then I must write of the loneliness stemming from my heart.
Being expressed in feeling words, I relate all its emotions to others.
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Deeply somber, hidden away beneath a blanket of darkened sadness, unable to face the world and what's in it today.
Head bowed, shoulders slumped, mind stashed away to protect it from the bitter selfishness and jealousy of others.
There's no one to turn to - it's a totally solo journey into the emptiness, caused by other's attitudes towards me.
Upset, holding tears back, trying not to let their saltiness fall into the raw hurt of abandonment.
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Tired of living a long life, filled with happiness, joy, suffering, sorrow.
Taking steps to meet it every day - even when not wanting to.
Pasting a smile on a face of grief, dancing with others, putting on a brave front for everyone around.
Deeply inside, fraught with an emptiness that just won't go away or ease up.
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Waves gently lapping up the shore, each carrying away with the sand, a trouble once before.
Softly sounding, tugging at your heart, bringing forth sadness from it - bringing forth great sorrow.
No where is there life left over from a mother, just a dead, cold silence forevermore.
Thinking of her, reaching out for her, soundlessly emptiness haunts me as I stagger and fall from it's total void.
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Hurriedly rushing to get somewhere on time, knowing
all along that it's not important, but pretending
to ourselves that it is.
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Alighting from interior thought, grief climbs off of it's cycle, watching tears fall deeply into sorrowful pits of human loneliness.
Being filled with an increasing emptiness, solidly building itself within - a category of tepid landscapes in misery.
Palpable darkness forming on every horizon, taking with it a formidable part of life into a steaming abyss of unforgiveness.
Totally absorbed in puddles of tears left unattended on shores of unlimited grief.
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