Why Am I Needing This? Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

I am not those dark days lived.
To perform an existing within shadows.
I am not,
One who sits comfortably...
Fixed to fears,
Of my own image appearing...
On walls that I visit forelorned.

I can not accept a misery imposed upon me.
I can not accept...
My own reflection hinting with signs of neglect.

I am the light that brightly shines...
On the other side of closed windows.
I am the light that brightly shines...
Beyond closed and locked doors,
My mind has been convinced...
I'm needing more to restrict my addictions.
I'm needing more of this...
To keep and explore!

'I am not those dark days lived',
I say.
'I am not that one existing,
Within the restriction of shadows.'

I am the light that brightly shines...
On the other side of closed windows.
I live beyond closed and locked doors!
And yet I am a victim,
Of my own self inflicting addictions.
Why am I needing this...
To keep adventured and explored?

'Why am I needing this?
Why from it I just can't quit? '