Who'Ll Wear The Miniskirts? Poem by gershon hepner

If Shariah is imposed
here in America, who’ll wear
the miniskirts, with legs exposed
since they may be cut off when bare?
Alas, we’ll have to say farewell
to arms if they aren’t covered, and
to décolleté that’s hard to spell,
and skin that’s in midbellyland.

Clad in burkhas women will
no longer tempt us with their wiles,
nor be obliged to take the pill
in case they’re tempted by our smiles,
and stores won’t make large profits selling
the clothes that drive a sober man
quite crazy, till he finds compelling
the prophet’s words in the Quran.

Of course once we’re in heaven, virgins
will greet us not in burkhas but,
with breasts more perfect than our surgeons
can fix, and with a gorgeous butt,
but what will happen there to burkhas?
Will Allah graciously be willing
to let us, with his angel workers,
recycle them to make a killing
from material that’s been used
to cover legs, and arms and face,
reduced so we may be seduced
by virgins wearing silk and lace?


Inspired by an article by John Burns, reporting that the Archbishop of Canterbury has declared that shariah law should become operative for Muslims in the United Kingdom (“Top Anglican Seeks a Role for Islamic Law in Britain, ” NYT, February 8,2008) :
The archbishop of Canterbury called Thursday for Britain to adopt aspects of Islamic Shariah law alongside the existing legal system. His speech set off a storm of opposition among politicians, lawyers and others, including some Muslims. The archbishop, the Most Rev. Rowan Williams, spiritual leader of the world’s Anglicans, said in his speech and a BBC radio interview that the introduction of Shariah in family law was “unavoidable.” But he said such “constructive accommodation” should not deprive Muslims of their right to take their cases to the existing court system. The archbishop compared allowing Muslims to take carefully defined issues to their own religious courts to the established practice among Orthodox Jews here of referring religious disputes to rabbinical courts. Roman Catholics might also benefit from what he called “plural jurisdiction” in matters affecting religious conscience, he said. He noted that the Church of England, formally headed by the monarch, also has its own ecclesiastical courts. Shariah is drawn from the Koran and the sayings of the Prophet Muhammad. It prescribes religious and secular duties, along with punishments for their breach… The archbishop’s speech was made at the Royal Courts of Justice, before an audience of leading judges and lawyers. Typically, it was steeped in historical and philosophical nuances that risked being lost in the headlines. He argued, for example, that the principle enshrined during the 18th-century Enlightenment, that all citizens should be under the uniform law of a sovereign state, was a reaction to despotism. He said that a modern democratic society should “acknowledge the liberty of conscientious opting-out from collaboration with procedures or practices that are in tension with demands of particular religious groups.” This, the archbishop said, could be extended to create new legal rights for all faiths, not only Muslims. He cited Catholic adoption agencies that have resisted accepting gay couples as adoptive parents, a stand that has brought them into conflict with the law in Britain, and other religious groups that have resisted stem cell research. But within hours of the BBC interview, the broadcaster’s Web site was inundated with angry postings. One man, Tom Harrop, left a mocking comment that was typical of many others: “Right, I’m off to get a burqa for the mother-in-law, ” a reference to the head-to-toe veil worn by many conservative Muslim women.


2/8/08