Where Alone On God I Do Still Trust And Rely Poem by Gert Strydom

(in answer to Koos Kombuis)

At a time you were like my own shadow
that followed me just where I went,
where we shared and gave in love to each other,
when you stood like a spear-maiden at my side

and inside my heart and outside I could feel you,
where without words you knew what I meant,
when at heart I knew you like myself
and at that time together we did loose and win

but now you act evilly against me
and I know nothing of your heart-beat or psychosis,
just that it looks as if there is no love
and you do hide your true known self from me.

Chorus:

I cannot find you even if I scout all of the roads
on which for years the two of us were together
and to things that sway away and turn-offs
and dead-ends I do come

I have an older female-cousin that is just like you,
and another one that I do miss for years.
The one like you is a missionary in Africa,
the other one has passed away and she gave without asking

and like for you for her there is longing,
but like I am the other one is trapped in life
and I trusted you with the depth and secrets of my heart
but now we are apart and you do bring unending heartache.

Chorus:

I cannot find you even if I scout all of the roads
on which for years the two of us were together
and to things that sway away and turn-offs
and dead-ends I do come.

It's a bloody-red sun that scorches down without mercy,
when each day without you is empty until it sets.
I wish I could remember you just as you were,
like you are able to draw and paint with a paintbrush,

could catch the moment when you did love me,
write you down and see only beautiful things,
with you close at my side wake up
and pour out my senses and heart to you.

Chorus:

I cannot find you where you do not regard me,
where only in God I do trust and do rely on Him.
It's as if I stand against Satan's might
and constantly I do pray for you.
[Reference: "Liefde uit die oudedoos" (Old-fashioned love) by Koos Kombuis.]