Uptown Girl Poem by gershon hepner

Uptown, downtown, I love girls,
but mostly I stick to the mid.
I can’t afford for up ones pearls,
and down ones hate that I’m a yid,
which leaves me in the midtown stuck
with girls who’re far more to my speed;
that’s where I’ll find, if I have luck,
a sample who will fill my need.

Of course, once I have tried the sample,
I may return to up or down,
and find myself a good example
of talent in the tacky town
who’ll have me, though I can’t afford
the pearls all uptown girls expect,
and doesn’t mind the fact the Lord
enrolled me in a Jewish sect.

The fact is, truly I am not
particular about where she
who’ll have me comes from; what
difference should it make to me
whether she’s from up or down?
A girl one day may take my fancy
though from a boonie shantytown,
or even, God forbid, from Monsey.

Inspired by Billy Joel’s “Uptown Girl, ” a song he wrote for Christie Brinkley before the two divorced in 1994:

Uptown girl
She's been living in her uptown world
I bet she's never had a backstreet guy
I bet her momma never told her why

I'm gonna try for an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

And when she knows what
She wants from her time
And when she wakes up
And makes up her mind

She'll see I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love with an uptown girl
You know I've seen her in her uptown world
She's getting tired of her high class toys
And all her presents from her uptown boys
She's got a choice

Uptown girl
You know I can't afford to buy her pearls
But maybe someday when my ship comes in
She'll understand what kind of guy I've been
And then I'll win

And when she's walking
She's looking so fine
And when she's talking
She'll say that she's mine

She'll say I'm not so tough
Just because
I'm in love
With an uptown girl
She's been living in her white bread world
As long as anyone with hot blood can
And now she's looking for a downtown man
That's what I am

Uptown girl
She's my uptown girl
You know I'm in love
With an uptown girl

7/8/08