Uncover Poem by Andrus Cassian

Tearing a poem in two, ripping a part an entire idea
insanity or ingenious, unthinkable or approved, forbidden
who knows
One important question: is traitor now the title I bear
a traitor to myself, betrayer to everything I stand up for
a traitor to the millions of poets out there, betrayer to the art
God, don't let it be; I can't lose the vent
which brings me fresh air
Poetry is all I know, the life I live
I couldn't escape, runaway if I tried; exile would prove unbearable
but the difference, there is none
My exile om social distortion reigns every single day
between the moments I feel I could write forever
to the moments when I'm running on an empty tank
Machines, I hollowly laugh at how heavily I've depended
upon the resource
to manipulate my thoughts to fall in line like soldiers
instead of having enough trust and faith
to build upon my own legacy with my own ability
My words, now, are enormous, pointless sedatives
a lullaby for even myself, not even getting past the fourth word
The edge, the drive, the fire contained in my liberal lyrics
flushed out, extinguished once again
Shamefully, it's one more thing I've watched
slip through my fingers like sand
I was once a man of black and white
who created an entire galaxy filled with a multitude of color
Could it be, the world stole my skin while I was in slumber
WHY MUST A PRICE BE SETTLED FOR AN OUNCE OF...
oh, just for an ounce of happiness...selfishly for me
My face to the sky, wondering why
I turn my back to the clouds, buried face down in grass
Breathe in for today, scream for tomorrow
catching myself praying for a sparring match with fate
to prove I can change myself into something positive
though it casts me down as pessimistic
I'm honestly so sick of this...reached my wits end
No surrender, surrender but maybe I just need to fall apart
I already feel possessed by a broken mess
a shadow of myself
The truth is waiting to be uncovered
What will be discovered
I don't know