Un-Numb Poem by Angelia McKee

As darkness surrounds me, I wish for it to be complete and total, and even more so, permanent.
As wishes go, they're never granted.
Except, maybe once, but, that's over now.
Maybe, that's why I feel this way now.
Okay, so perchance, it's unrealistic, to have expected more.
A fantasy, inside a superb dream world.
Perhaps, it wasn't meant to be.
So, here I go again. Knowing what I need, still holding fast to what I want. My desires: knowing where they will get me; no where.
As long as he is still here, I couldn't imagine letting go, not completely. Happiness eludes me, only from my own doings.
Love, pushed away, for reasons he might never, even remotely, understand.
He talks of love, trust, as though it's a natural thing.
Nothing can change the way I feel, except me.
I'd say by the time he comes to the realization, free spirits sometimes get caught by the wind, it'll be too late.
The wind will have already carried me away.
Into a million tiny shards, my heart has finally exploded.
The emptiness has finally overcome, and triumphed.
My deepest fears have, at last, come to pass.
Pain: to still feel so strongly.
I realize now, I was wrong. The feelings never went away, for in his hands, he still holds me, body, soul and heart.
The ache in my breast has finally begun.
My salty tears, finally, are brimming over.
Un-numb, I've become at long last.