Troubles Poem by Kevin Deckert

I just don’t wanna be here
Where nothing seems to work out
I just don’t wanna live in fear
Of being hated, thrown out

I just wanna run away
To a reality I dreamed about
Maybe I should start to pray
For getting where exists no doubt

Where love is pure, not dirty, tricky
People telling what they want to say
Not being silent from the endless fear
Of others treating them like dirt

Where everybody’s nice and honest
Where all the words are true and pure
And freed from every doubt,
From dirty thoughts in people’s minds

And no one’s being fooled
For what he is or wants to be
Cause the only thing that counts for me
Is if inside you’re nice or cruel

So many people are mistreated
For things they just can’t change
It’s just not fair from all those asses
To think they are better than we

I just don’t get their points
How can they even get to think
One better than another
That’s not how he created us

He wanted us to be all equal
Untouched in rights and dignity
Neither discriminating all the others
Nor being so ourselves

But on the other hand I laugh
Cause laughing keeps from dying
If I won’t laugh anymore some day
I’m sure I will be dead and done

But I can’t just keep smiling
If someone’s arguing with me
I can’t just grin and bare it
It seems I have to share it

And if it is a good friend
Sometimes even the best
I doubt if it’s not me who’s wrong
And have to ponder all night long

But then, most time without a help,
I get behind the problem
Can answer all annoying troubles
I do not need your help!


And that’s important for myself
To see I’m independent
You might have the impression,
But I’m not weak and not addicted
Not annoying and devoted
But if you think it all the same
Then you can’t hide it, I ain’t a fool

Please don’t ignore me that’s not fair
Please just don’t tell me it’s alright
Don’t try to fool me, I’m not stupid
I know it’s not, how could it be?
After all that’s been, it would be weird
Just talk to me, are you afraid?

So please just share your thoughts with me
Be honest as I am to you
Please don’t act like nothing’s been
I regret what happened, but can’t change it

And that is how I see the world
Not how it should be, but as it is
As cruel and bad as people are
But I can see the nice things, too
It’s love and trust and friendship
Which happen to be not easy to find
At least not for a person like me