Tic Toc Poem by Claudine Riel
Tic Toc
Laying in the dark, looking out the window
Flashes going through my mind
Wishes to leave these thoughts behind
Naked dancing trees left to see as a shadow
Still in shock and in fear
Wind blowing I can hear
Tic toc
Showing time is 2 o'clock
Left over winter morning
As I feel the coolness on my skin
All night tossin' & turnin',
Now sighin' & cussin'
Knowing this will be a long day coming
Superstitious? Never was by any mean
Didn't think anything was strange
Black feline on the scene
Still, the I do's were exchange
Without questioning my actions
Naïve, I had no regrets
Wrong reasons, looking for missing affections
He witnessed it, I find out the family secret
He vowed again, never to drink his pain away
As a punching bag he used her
Frustrations, out on the kids every day
Covered of blood and bruises
Thinking she have TKO'd in this round
Feeling the guilt rising in silence, as sound
Like a hotel, he checked himself out
Since they're was no reasons to stay
I was told it's 'Paradise'
The globe calls it Hawaii
As I now call it 'Hell' in disguise
They must have lied to me
Definitely now nightmares
Used to be reality
So close facing 'Him' one day
Thoughts of it, you can see me trembling
Like a tiger back & forth pacing
Just to be once again his prey
Strong paws on my neck
Still gasping for air
Grabbing my arm like it's the last sale in effect
Such is life, but that's not even fair
Ordering me not to wake his siblings
Thinking 'he's not God, why listen? '
Surely enough something did happen
He tried his best to arrange the meeting
Mind games was the name of the game
Psychological manipulation
Subjected to forced injection
Obviously not open for discussion
Just laying there in submission
Crying and begging for him to stop
Door way is his tallness
Brass door is his corpulence
Feeling the terror, he's on top
As you can tell, I don't stand a chance
At the edge of the bed standing
Can still see his face; just phlegmatic
Still today covering my head with the sheets
As if I've seen a ghost in the attic
Over powering, he thinks he's got the heat
Living like David Copperfield
Had to pull tricks outta my hat
To survive every day, but not to live
Just never thought I'd be a part of the stats
They said I'm a survivor
To have lived all through this terror
Abused, raped, beaten and betrayals
Years of pain, to anyone, unable to tell
One thing is for sure
I definitely came out stronger
Now emotionally tired
Just about ready to retired
But…
Tic toc...
Damn!
Showing time is 5 o'clock
It's now time for me to get up!
The family secret was, that his father used to beat the kids including him, and would beat his mother too. Although one night, he had beaten her so badly that she had past out. He was drunk and thought that he had killed her. So he took a rifle and shot himself in the head. He had witnessed the whole thing.
So that's where the violence was coming from...but I found out too late.
We got married in March 1995, he was in the military, so I didn't get to be with him after that until June 1995, we left for Honolulu Hawaii in Mid July 1995, and I was back in Canada in August 1995. Things happened very fast, and I left to go to a shelter a week before I actually left the Island. In May 1997, I was officially a divorced woman.
...and the healing began!
This poem has not been translated into any other language yet.
I would like to translate this poem
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4/28/2024 2:03:11 AM # 1.0.0.1119
Tic Toc with the muse of nature. Nice work. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you Edward for taking time to read. Happy Holidays!