The Tiresome James Middleton Poem by Professor Dr. Stanley Collymore

By Stanley Collymore

Looked at even half sensibly
there's nothing practically
that's truthfully stopping
this evidently bone idle
bloke - a characteristic which
runs throughout the sibling
ranks of this actual family
of social climbing with a
particular penchant for
significant wealth and
its fully expected and
attendant, hubristic,
societal status, plus
personal standing -
James Middleton
and his current
bint marrying;
lots of people,
in similar or
even worse
situations,
often do!

For starters the clearly
unplanned, and also
rather involuntary
body language of this duo:
form my observational
perspective, and also
it's clear conclusion
of this couple and
specifically that
of James is, to
say the very
least here,
sombrely
suspect!

Personally he won't marry
this one or the next after
her. And so realistically
you couldn't create a bigger
douche bag if you did try!
A man so demonstrably
with no visible job yet
rather risibly lauded
by the Daily Mail as
a bona fide British
and enterprising
"businessman".
But in reality
someone, who evidently
and cravenly lives off
his likeminded and
lazy sister Kate's
alleged fame; or
should that be
in all honesty
reported as
notoriety?

Sarcastically, what a catch!
If you wanted to actually
tie the knot principally
because you're really
in love instead of arrogantly
and vaingloriously hoping
to fully hog the publicity
and the corresponding
limelight, that you so
keenly hoped would
arise in a situation
of normalcy, you
would have got
wed - Covid 19
or none at all.
But why do so at this
time James, when
clearly with all
this pretence
there's still
mum and
daddy's
dosh?


(C) Stanley V. Collymore
6 September 2020.


Author's Remarks:
I vividly recall watching an episode of one of my favourite TV series Midsomer Murders in which a thoroughly mendaciously scheming and manipulative mother and her lkemindedly vile daughter eventually and justly so got their deserved comeuppance.

This very disgusting pair having throughout their surreptitiously devious schemes together publicly and skillfully pretended they didn't even know each other or what was going on, even though they were solely responsible for what was happening. And the principal female villain involved, the odious mother, reminded me very much of Carole Middleton!

This TV villain though had only the one child, a young adult one. Carole, though, has three supposedly "adult" offspring. Kate who trapped a distinctly boring William, and not the sharpest knife amongst the cutlery, into being her husband.

Pippa who summarily ditched Nico: a three yearlong boyfriend, for, as onewit bluntly remarked to me: with Harry most definitely not at all interested in her like William was - with his quite insecure and manifest penchant for securing a Stepford type wife and a compliantbroodmare - in joining the social climbing Middleton clan - Pippa needed to not only get a wealthy husband but equally as well with age fast accelerating on her and her vibrant past of myriad lovers to likewise consider someone with a title, irrespective of how feudal it was in class conscious Britain would be most agreeable and appreciated.

Mission therefore accomplished when she hooked James Matthews, with this Scottish twerp knowing that being able to name drop and have the RF in-laws on his personal CV was, in social classobsessed Britain, exceptionally good for his line of business.

JamesMiddleton, in the meantime, made very aware that the York girls Beatrice and Eugenie - never mind his mum Carole and sister Kate's highly successful snaring of William- the two York sisters just weren't interested in him, since he had nothing, even remotely tempting, to offer either of them, and a situation highly unlikely to ever change. So James is still out there fishing, while lovingly encouraged in that endeavour of his by mummy and daddy's "money"!

Which brings me to the firm conclusion that while there can't logically be any kind of accounting for the idiosyncratic behaviour of any particular family, nevertheless this specific one is categorically the sort that burns up oxygen which truly worthy families and individuals could put to better use!