The Secret Underground Oxtail Conspiracy Poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

From my assessment,
To have observed.
After being served,
The most delicious oxtails.
To then travel on many roads.
Nibbling on pound and carrot cake.
I see it as plainly as this:
They be thieves, liars, deceivers...
Up and down underground and all around.
Everywhere from the top to the bottom.
Easily to witness without need to sweat.
Or dig for it to get.
And Your Honor,
That was all I said.
That was my point of view.
Giving my opinion.
Got up and left.

"Our investigation committee,
Stated differently to the media.
Your credentials and qualifications."

Oh?

"From documents submitted to us,
By your lawyer.
Proving he had indisputable evidence,
Of his client's intelligence.
To have obtained a Rhodes Scholarship.
At Oxford University.
And you nibbled and dabbed,
Gathering proof.
Finding pounds of it.
Shining to blind...
As if carats nowhere found,
On the most expensive diamonds.
How on Earth,
Can you explain this...
This elaborate contradiction? "

Well...
When I met my lawyer,
Who was not my lawyer then.
At that restaurant I mentioned earlier.
I said to him,
He had to try the oxtails.
And for whatever the reason,
He told me he was needing a witness.
For a case against corruption.
But...
He could not find anyone,
Capable to deliver the 'goods'.
We started talking.
And the next thing I knew,
He requested the menu.
Ordering more oxtails, potato salad...
Collard greens and ice tea.
Then...
From out of the blue,
I get a superior court paper.
Demanding my appearance.

"So...
This has all been a sham a scheme.
Between you and your lawyer.
Deliberately to undermine the government? "

This is what I do know,
And nothing more.
I met the guy.
In a restaurant.
Suggested he try the oxtails.
And now I am being accused,
Of creating some secret,
Underground oxtail movement!
Does that make sense to any of you?
This is some of the most...
Ridiculous B.S. ever!
Are we on 'candid camera? '.

"The court will take,
A five hour recess.
Someone find that restaurant.
Order all of the oxtails.
We will taste them.
Then only then can we determine,
Who and what...
Has been behind this conspiracy.
Court dismissed for recess."