The Little Lamb Poem by Bunny Baker

It was a bad lamb and a mad lamb and it wanted a piece of meat
It didn't want any bloody grass like it was supposed to eat
It pulled its lips back in a snarl and bared its herbivorous teeth
And snorted through its nose like some wild and dangerous beast

The farmers wife had gone out of her mind because life had become so contrary
Instead of Mary having a little lamb, the little lamb had had Mary
Just a shoe and some school books were left by that lamb from hell
And later, it sprang through the kitchen window and ate the farmers wife as well

The sheep were in the night shelter. they looked where the Lamb used to be
And there they found a makeshift bookcase gnawed out from the trunk of a tree
There were many learned tomes and notes, textbooks and thesis
But the book with the most hoof prints on it was Darwin's 'Origin of Species'

Notwithstanding contravention of probability and causation
That crazy lamb had given itself a damn good education

And as the sun was rising and a brave new day was dawning
The sheep came out of the shelter all bleating and yawning
And there above the shelter, on his hind legs on the roof
Was that jumped-up educated lamb with a pamphlet in its hoof

Ewes, Rams, Sheep and Lambs I have words that you must hear
In my hoof I hold a promulgation that will fill you all with fear

At first I thought it was just a list of lambs with interesting names
I had heard of 'Billy the kid' and thought lamb madras, vindaloo and dansak, were basically, much the same

But as I read the small print, I found more and more reason to worry
And if we don't act fast we'll all end up on the wrong side of a curry

Their flag was a takeaway menu their rage it knew no bounds
As lamb madras and a thousand sheep, broke free, and headed for town

All around the town they stood, for children to come and pet them
But when the children touched their woolly coats
The lambs jumped up and ate them

And the mothers and the fathers cried 'this is evil this is wrong'
Lamb Madras spat out a bone and growled
'Depends which side you're on'

And so to the houses of parliament
Sat on the hair sack, the lamb takes a bow
So many things had changed with time
And he was prime lamb now

He made a speech with passion for a new bill to be passed
This diet has given us all gut-rot, we must change if we're to last

We have our freedom and all that we need
So let us evolve to a higher plane
Let there be peace and love throughout the world
and let us all eat grass again.