The Cattle Class Poem by AtreyaSarma Uppaluri

[BACKGROUND:
India’s Minister of State for External Affairs, Shashi Tharoor (who was a former Under Secretary General, UNO) recently ran into trouble when, in the wake of the Government’s austerity measures, he sarcastically retorted on Twitter that he would fly “cattle class” out of solidarity with all our holy cows, ” in a country where the cow is held sacred. And his identification of the ordinary citizens who travel by economy class with “cattle” hasn’t gone well with many sections, including his own Congress Party. Eventually, he had to apologise.]

In the Mahabharata of the Indian ballot battle
Voters of varied mysterious minds are cattle.
Until after the counting date they cause a rattle
To the dreams of candidates who then begin to prattle.

While to the losers it’s a startle
To their rivals it’s a chortle.
To the winners it’s a sensation
Of an alpine (Swiss) elation.

The winner that becomes a minister
Wouldn’t care to properly administer
But only hatches designs sinister.
Treats his position as a perfect chattel
And to the people causes regretful nettle
With all his drooling tittle-tattle

Yes, to them the voters are cattle
The politicos milk them dry
Shear their skin shiny bald
Gore them for their meat
Hang them for their hide
Prise them out for bones.

The episode reminds us that sophistication
And foreign education and enunciation
Wouldn’t at all help
Only people’s yelp.

He had a run at the level of the United Nations ample
Now lying in his own nation disunited from his own people.

Those who keep themselves in fine fettle
And act with due discretion and mettle
Are a rare, indeed, a very rare specimen.
This to say isn’t needed great acumen.

Anyway Shashi Tharoor
Who’s seen as a boor
Has expressed his regret fit.
So why don’t we forget it?

When everyone of us claims a sense of humour
Why peevishly deny him that harmless honour
For after all in the Urban Dictionary “Cattle class”
Is just a synonym for “Economy class”?

Moreover, Shashi hadn’t used that expression at all, to beat
He only replied in banter to Kanchan Gupta’s loaded tweet
“Next time you travel to Kerala, will it be cattle class? ”
With his repartee: “Absolutely, in cattle class
Out of solidarity with all our holy cows! ”
Anyway, to everyone my bows and wows! !

So let this light-hearted twitter
Not turn us any more bitter!

[Sep 24,2009: : Greenfield, Wisconsin]