Struggle Poem by charles vanwinkle

I want to be filled with love, not with hate
I want to watch my addiction slowly begin to fade
My life it was bent, it was broken, and shattered
I want my life to have meaning to the people that matter
I was lost in the haze of addictions seduction
But i finally realized i was my own destruction
I want to break free of the chains i am binded
By the trials and tears of my mind im reminded
The drugs and the booze they subdued my judgement
Everything i wanted my life to be, it wasnt
I just want to be happy is my cry and my moan
For i did not know the decision was my own
All the tools i need i already posses
But i had decieptful lies that i couldnt confess
As i tell the truth and let down my shield
I feel as if i have power that i am ready to yeild
As i see the wrench start to turn my life around
Im astonished by the hope that i have finally found
In my mind the outcome is clear
But my shield is replaced by uncertainy and fear
Although i have fear and i am uncertain
To the way i once was i must now drop the curtain
As the clouds draw back and i cant now see
It was about anybody else, it was always Just Me