Smile Poem by Paul Christopher Robertson

I see you there and you smiling
My stomach knots
And I just want to smile back at you
But I know you smile is not meant for me
And your smile was never meant for me

Every time I close my eyes your there
I see you everywhere
Can’t you see me dying am I insane
All I want to do is smile at you

I’m insane
I see some pills
I see a knife
And I imagine its cool edge against my thought
And the sweet kiss of a bottle against my lips
As I pop the lid on those pills

I’m standing in the rain
And I don’t know what to do because
I can’t see the sign to sanity
I’ve gone insane because all I’m doing is crying
In this perpetual world of hate

I see you smiling
And I feel like dying
I’m dying tonight
Because all I’m doing is crying
CANT YOU HEAR ME CRYING TO NIGHT I FEEL LIKE DYING!

I don’t want my Mum and Dad to know
That I never loved this life
I know they love me so
But I can’t go on

Tonight I feel like dying
Because I’m spending my time crying
Over your smile
And hardest part of all it was never meant for me
SO WHY DOES IT MEAN SO MUCH!

I thought that love was meant for me and you
Because I love you it’s true
And would have loved you true

Try to forget about you
But every time I do
I caught in your spell.
This isn’t fair let me go
SET ME FREE!

I’ve gone insane my life’s in pain
I’m going to cry but would good would it do
You don’t know what you do to me

I will die and you want cry
Cos you don’t hear me cry right before I die
Why are you smiling before I die
Because you’re not going to cry
I’m cold and out in the rain
And I feel the world’s pain

I’m living pain
I had to go insane to deal with it
Who needs love
Who needs a smile
I know I do but I’m not getting either

I want to go to a better place
But I can’t go
I want to let go and say goodbye
Because can’t deal with this pain

I WANT HELP. I NEED HELP.


I know when I’m older I’ll be fine but how can I make it to then
Got to keep fighting
Can’t give in now I’m so far along
I know life’s hard
I know I’ll be alright
It’s just getting a bit much right now