Searching For Summer Poem by Jackson Hintz

S(searching) F(for) S(summer)
Someone is going to die today in the midst of their greatest adventure.
They'll have grey hair dentures and excuses for days and relay to you the ways they tried to say I love you, but never could.
We all travel through this life like a car with no brakes looking for something to crash into
Something with a mark that matches up with us like they know what we've been through
See I've skimmed through and sinned too and wound up forgotten
I've gone searching for true love in the bedlam of Sodom
And I've let words like love slip off the slopes of my tongue
I've gone nine rounds with regret today and the day is not done
And I think back to the one thing my mom always told me
She said you don't have to believe and you don't have to be holy
But a day without beauty is worth a year without sunlight
I'm not okay with this agreement of one day for one night
So I'm searching for summer
And what I love most is the smell of the pine
The idea of one day sailing through the heart of the Rhine while observing the brilliance
The flow of the ocean and the mountains resilience the absolute perfection
In the smell of all these wild flowers
And in truth I could never begin to count the hours I've spent gazing at this art
Thinking maybe this is the way that the precursors wanted to start
And maybe my heart is too small or my love is too big
Maybe I'm just less of a man and more of a kid
Maybe the profundity of a word like love is just too great for me
Maybe I'm too caught up in what I want to be.
And I'm not saying I love you
The gravity of such a statement would destroy us all together
We'd get battered in the weather and forgotten in the fray
But I swear to your god that my day gets better when I see your face.
It's so weird
To think how easy it all becomes when I know that your here
To find a piece of my harbor when I've ventured far from home.
A haven in the chaos that has left me so alone
To see the first break of spring on the green of your iris
To place butterfly kisses on your cheeks and your eyelids
And I wonder what I did to deserve your affection
To see a crystal clear reflection of my idea of perfection
It leaves me gazing
Cause you're the spring wind that's grazing just beyond my touch
You're the tree that stands in a fallen forest and is only now a crutch
You're the rapids I find when I get your heart racing
The flood of your smell that leaves me weak kneed and bracing for something to hold onto
You're the fire in the dried out forest of my heart burning yourself up until I'm gone too
And I will soon fall.
All in all the truth is I'm not one to crawl.
I will not bow down and hold myself steady
I'm an untamable sea but you knew that already
I never hid the wild I had in me and you wore yours on your sleeve
You're a queen and I'm a wanderer and it's time that I should leave
I will find the beauty that finds the beauty in me
That's got a love like a storm and roots like a tree.
I set off on my adventure
I'm searching for summer.
- Jack