Remember When I Died? Poem by naomi deluca

At first I didn't know,
What was I looking at?
But I Remember how it happened

Everyone around me begged me to stop
I felt there was no reason to roam this earth
The first time? It was like rebirth

The moment I put the little blue torpedoes
In my mouth, it was ice against my body,
pressing its way into me

And then all I saw was black
I fell in love with that darkness

I didn't think my 'blue obsession' would go far
I reminisce saying 'Only one today'

My hands shook and poured more than one
Unto my mouth, soon the blackness consumed and surrounded me
I'd wake up in a matter of minutes

I remember it well
I lay limp, I was looking from above?
Like an out of body experience
I knew what exactly had occured

I remember trying to wake myself up
Screaming at the top of my lung only to hear nothing
But still the corpse that was I
Lay there lanky,

Suddenly the door flies open
My mother,

Calling my name continuously,
Her screams loud and trill,
I punched myself but no revival

She wept,
Her body giving out and caving in
I hated myself for causing her so much pain

The worst thing about dying:
I couldn't wrap my arms around my hysterical mother
All there was the nothingness and then black

I remember when i died.....