Regarded By Dying Rebuking Destinies Poem by Rachel Aurelien

Trying to find the emotion underneath my words in a forgotten love song.
I wrote for myself in the heated moment when I loved myself.
The dying destinies rebuke me for so long, that's what the words now say in the song.
I try to stop myself fighting wars with my flaws.
I ignore the heavy thoughts peeping through my cold hearted doors.
I grew phobias from a seed, that's been embedded in my brain.
A bunch of angry, peaceful voices I had to contain.
Scared to even breathe at night in the forgotten sight.
Restrained my purified heart because they might give in and bite.
Wondering eyes, and pinned up ears I wonder why I can't sleep until I've faced my fears.
I don't know anyone apart from my shadowed peers.
A warm blanket is cold against my skin.
So I hug, no-one, just incase my heart finally lets you in.
I'm left dumb by un-coding expressions from a smile-less painting. It's an image, my soul created but later dismissed anything it ever created.
I stay opposed with my innocence never exposed.
My conscience say's, Love always misses you when you rub shoulders with hate.
I say back 'where was the love when I was hurt by fate'
I want to know why the dying rebuking destinies can't show me lost love from my song.
My heart swears we haven't put a foot wrong.
All they said was read it as a poem and don't sing it as a song
And who do I belong.
A thought isn't a thought without it being spiritually taught.
My fists I used to fight wars, the pain wasn't brought.
I tried to turn my heart the other way round, to block against the pain ever being brought. Sarcasm is my only defend.