Rain Poem by Wini Jose

Rain

Rating: 5.0


Dark and rumbling heavenly sky,
Man and animals wait with their throats all dry.
Wondering when that crystal clear nectar,
Will trickle down their body and into every sector.
As each second passed by, their eagerness became more and more,
An obvious reaction as they were thirsty to the core.
The parched land lay cracked like a jigsaw puzzle,
So were the living beings, all waiting in the muzzle.
The peacock came with its beautiful feathers to dance,
As the other animals eyed it as if in a trance.
To the god of thunder they all did pray,
To grant another second in their life or another day.
For it was so parched that even the camel was thirsty,
No mountain of gold could make them ever so happy,
Except for a dropp of that heavenly life saving offering,
Which came drizzling from the sky on every swan’s wing.
When will it pour down from that gracious blue,
When will the skies show mercy to me and you.
As the animals were looking for an answer for this doubt,
They heard a loud and tremendous shout.
And so the first few drops of that gracious blue’s mercy fell on the land,
As if directly from his silver lined hands,
Man and animal alike danced as if mad,
They couldn’t hide their happiness, they were so happy, so glad.
But they never forgot to thank the heavenly blue,
Who was so good to them, so true.

COMMENTS OF THE POEM
Buddy Bee Anthony 01 January 2012

your work is very promising. It seems a little choppy in spots? I don't know what it's like where you live, but, it could be more effective saying in the first few lines.., .man/animals, rather than man and animals to combine for more emphasis. Because, we read these poems, not a bird, or a horse. Just a suggestion. and at the end, so happy, so glad, the rain came? Silver lined hands, , , again, whose silver lined hands? It sort of confuses me as a reader... is rain what every creature is rejoicing over?

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Vipins Puthooran 31 December 2011

'tis a great poem! ! How elegantly you depicted this poem! ! ! Really an excellent work! ! 10+++++

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