Psycho Analyse Poem by Shikha Gupta

what'd you think it was anyway?
my time to lie on the couch?
did you think under the pretenses
you'd finally get an answer?

and then you lay out three cards on the table
just to make it easier for me
pick one you say
who would it be?
the king, the clown, or the drama queen?

for a moment there i falter
as if to make for a choice
slip of the tongue and there
would be the much awaited revelation

but under four sets of eyes
i'd rather say no
again
i'd rather say
these cards are not for me

fair enough he says
as she shuffles the cards into place again
fair? to whom exactly?

so you see me smile for the first time
or maybe you just saw me for the first time

it's just that you're way too comfortable
just get up for a moment
you see that thing you're sitting on?
they're all the things you assumed you knew

now let go off my shoulder
and hold my hand instead
just where the vein appears above my skin
do you feel me tremble beneath the tip of your callous thumb?
is the surge unusually warm?
did it take you by surprise to feel the rush beneath the dead demeanor?

you were expecting maybe...?
i don't know
you tell me
you're the one(s) who've diagnosed me

now why is the clown sad again?
does he think i've betrayed?
does he?
but pray say how did i ever betray?
was it because i let go off your hand finally?
or maybe the reason's not me
maybe it's paranoia
what would freud say?
and what would he say for all the times
he's betrayed?

now you stumble upon in time for the next session
i stumble upon every maddening day
now what do you suppose i'm supposed to feel?
go ahead dear
psycho
analyse me