Poems Of Longing, Languishing Poem by Rani Turton

There used to be laughter once; there used to be summer once;
The earth seemed warmer and kinder at that time
The fireflies at dusk came out for us.
The willow forgot to weep. Wounds went to sleep.
Then twilight came. Life changed.
But maybe it was me; maybe it was I who didn’t keep
Promises and negotiated nothing in my destiny;
That in spite of all the things I did that I didn’t want to do
That in spite of all that I didn’t do that I was longing to do

To walk slowly through those paths, reach the fountain
I knew so well by sight or sound,
Water, sparkling, splashing, cascading onto stones
I knew as well as the lines in my hand or my bones
Watered by drops from this fountain,
Watered by the raindrops from the skies
From the tears in my eyes
Those pavements that bore the traces of your steps
And my bitter reflections and dreams
Life is refraction, a long walk alone;
To pause, my body aching, my heart breaking
Knowing that some things cannot be undone
Those windows are still there, the courtyard has changed
The doorway where I paused to wipe my tears
Far off the river flows, gently
Murmuring its passion and pain
These poems of love move my heart and cause it to plunge
Like the waters of that fountain that sprout
From the sculpted lion’s mouth.

There used to be long ago
In this part of the city
My love, my beloved, an almost foe
My foe because of the pain caused
Unwittingly or deliberately:
Not because of the pity;
Pity comes from compassion, no, not that
The pain that pierced my heart
The pain that stopped my heart with his hand
That makes it just another episode in this city

Stoneflagged pain then.
Tear-washed pavements also.
Green benches for the weary;
Fountain-spouted words so.
Pigeons scatter and scurry
Clouds scud real low:
As above, so below.
Blow winds of change blow.