Martin O'Neill

Rookie - 12 Points (20-06-1958 / Solihull, Birmingham, England)

Pheromonal Bloke - Poem by Martin O'Neill

Average blokes wonder what my secret is
I'm not handsome or a brilliant scientist
But when I start to tell them
They say 'Swivel on this! '
I say
It's in the glint of my smile
The quickness of quip
The laugh in my voice
My shoulderless chip
I'm a Bloke
Pheromonal Bloke
Yup. That's me.

Women themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They laugh so much
But don't want to touch
My odd asymmetry
When I try to show them
They usually flee
I say
It's in my lunchpack
My bum and my piles
The size of my chutzpah
The depth of my guile
I'm a Bloke
Pheromonal Bloke
Yup. That's me.

Now you understand
Why my head isn't brown
I don't gossip or bugger about
Or run my mates down
When you see me passing
Go up-wind, not down
I say
It's in the size of my Wheels
The lack of brown hair
The pint in my hand
The fact I'm 'in care'
'Cause I'm a Bloke
Pheromonal Bloke
Yup. That's me.

(Maya, if you read this I'm not sorry because imitation IS the sincerest form of compliment.)

If you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it - go and have a shower.

Comments about Pheromonal Bloke by Martin O'Neill

  • Silver Star - 3,666 Points Kevin Patrick (8/2/2012 8:30:00 PM)

    This was a killer work, Maya would be rolling to the coffin if she could see this pleasent and apt equal to her own work. Woman love a man who's funny, its phermons for the honey. (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
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  • Rookie Gone Away (4/23/2012 2:16:00 PM)

    In hysterics now....! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 7,082 Points Veeraiyah Subbulakshmi (4/3/2012 7:09:00 AM)

    Martin, there are many blokes who behave as this bloke and they always say what they do is right. interesting one! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Lizzie O'neill (4/1/2012 11:50:00 AM)

    I really like this Martin, I see what you mean. Really good (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 445 Points Danny Draper (3/25/2012 7:00:00 AM)

    A clever and of course well considered tribute to Maya and the male self. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Heather Wilson (3/24/2012 4:34:00 PM)

    I think you have it all, a good fun poem, a very clever write. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 4,421 Points Valerie Dohren (3/23/2012 3:24:00 PM)

    Absolutely fabulous - very amusing. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 4,045 Points Dave Walker (3/22/2012 4:44:00 PM)

    love it, you really put a smile on my face. a really fantastic poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Shadow Girl (3/22/2012 12:23:00 AM)

    haha...i was just gonna say...some maya inspiration here? ? ? ? it REALLY worked...and way funny...liked it.
    -SF (Report) Reply

  • Freshman - 566 Points Patti Masterman (3/21/2012 9:03:00 PM)

    Welp, it was a great job first done by Maya (that's Angelou, to you, Sonny-boy, hehe) and this here treatment does full justice, I believe. Though a trip down to the corner drugstore might be next, think I'm just about all out of them
    phenomenal pheromonal thingies..if you know what I mean. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 4,112 Points Diane Hine (3/21/2012 8:27:00 PM)

    Thanks Martin! - I did enjoy reading this poem- very much!
    (um-though not to the extent of requiring a shower) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Karen Deeks (3/21/2012 7:24:00 PM)

    Love the connection to Maya Angelous write... Love men and Mommas welfare role. Bingo wings :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Karen Deeks (3/21/2012 7:23:00 PM)

    Ha ha ha... Ruddy genius... I love the contorted twisted tone and you go fella... Hang on to that pint and be proud that you are who you are.... I hate saying this but kudos poet with no humour bypass :) 10 out of 10 plus a grin. Karen (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Poem Edited: Wednesday, March 21, 2012

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