Martin O'Neill

Rookie - 4 Points (20-06-1958 / Solihull, Birmingham, England)

Pheromonal Bloke - Poem by Martin O'Neill

Average blokes wonder what my secret is
I'm not handsome or a brilliant scientist
But when I start to tell them
They say 'Swivel on this! '
I say
It's in the glint of my smile
The quickness of quip
The laugh in my voice
My shoulderless chip
I'm a Bloke
Pheromonally
Pheromonal Bloke
Yup. That's me.

Women themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They laugh so much
But don't want to touch
My odd asymmetry
When I try to show them
They usually flee
I say
It's in my lunchpack
My bum and my piles
The size of my chutzpah
The depth of my guile
I'm a Bloke
Pheromonally
Pheromonal Bloke
Yup. That's me.


Now you understand
Why my head isn't brown
I don't gossip or bugger about
Or run my mates down
When you see me passing
Go up-wind, not down
I say
It's in the size of my Wheels
The lack of brown hair
The pint in my hand
The fact I'm 'in care'
'Cause I'm a Bloke
Pheromonally
Pheromonal Bloke
Yup. That's me.



(Maya, if you read this I'm not sorry because imitation IS the sincerest form of compliment.)

If you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it - go and have a shower.


Comments about Pheromonal Bloke by Martin O'Neill

  • Bronze Star - 2,355 Points Kevin Patrick (8/2/2012 8:30:00 PM)

    This was a killer work, Maya would be rolling to the coffin if she could see this pleasent and apt equal to her own work. Woman love a man who's funny, its phermons for the honey. (Report) Reply

    0 person liked.
    0 person did not like.
  • Rookie Gone Away (4/23/2012 2:16:00 PM)

    In hysterics now....! (Report) Reply

  • Gold Star - 4,698 Points Veeraiyah Subbulakshmi (4/3/2012 7:09:00 AM)

    Martin, there are many blokes who behave as this bloke and they always say what they do is right. interesting one! ! (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 0 Points Lizzie O'neill (4/1/2012 11:50:00 AM)

    I really like this Martin, I see what you mean. Really good (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 402 Points Danny Draper (3/25/2012 7:00:00 AM)

    A clever and of course well considered tribute to Maya and the male self. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Heather Wilson (3/24/2012 4:34:00 PM)

    I think you have it all, a good fun poem, a very clever write. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,515 Points Valerie Dohren (3/23/2012 3:24:00 PM)

    Absolutely fabulous - very amusing. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 3,781 Points Dave Walker (3/22/2012 4:44:00 PM)

    love it, you really put a smile on my face. a really fantastic poem. (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Shadow Girl (3/22/2012 12:23:00 AM)

    haha...i was just gonna say...some maya inspiration here? ? ? ? it REALLY worked...and way funny...liked it.
    -SF (Report) Reply

  • Rookie - 405 Points Patti Masterman (3/21/2012 9:03:00 PM)

    Welp, it was a great job first done by Maya (that's Angelou, to you, Sonny-boy, hehe) and this here treatment does full justice, I believe. Though a trip down to the corner drugstore might be next, think I'm just about all out of them
    phenomenal pheromonal thingies..if you know what I mean. (Report) Reply

  • Silver Star - 4,038 Points Diane Hine (3/21/2012 8:27:00 PM)

    Thanks Martin! - I did enjoy reading this poem- very much!
    (um-though not to the extent of requiring a shower) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Karen Deeks (3/21/2012 7:24:00 PM)

    Love the connection to Maya Angelous write... Love men and Mommas welfare role. Bingo wings :) (Report) Reply

  • Rookie Karen Deeks (3/21/2012 7:23:00 PM)

    Ha ha ha... Ruddy genius... I love the contorted twisted tone and you go fella... Hang on to that pint and be proud that you are who you are.... I hate saying this but kudos poet with no humour bypass :) 10 out of 10 plus a grin. Karen (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Poem Edited: Wednesday, March 21, 2012


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