Ph: Humor: Favorite Recurring Nightmares (Final) Poem by Brian Johnston

Favorite Recurring Nightmares


Don't you think that this title is darkly divine?
But, of course, there will have to be weirdness that's funny,
Though my nightmares are many and have complex arcs
There's some risk here I might have to work for my money!


Nightmare 1. To Wake Up Black

Can there be a fate worse than the skin of a black?
Can you show me a white man who seeks this advantage?
'Well, my guess is they wash their hands? ' sycophants say,
For the 'Mark of Cain' (1) stains them as racists teach adage.

Is it possible Donald is jealous of blacks?
Can't you feel Donald's pain as white Pillsbury 'Dough' Boy? (2)
His clear 'victim' persona when 'tough guy' is sought?
The abused (3) cannot love when not losing is soul's joy.

Poet's Notes on Nightmare 1.
(1) White racists who call themselves Christians have long taught their children that since Cain killed his brother, all blacks are the children of mankind's first murderer. Blacks have been cursed by God and are therefore to be considered subhuman.

Christ says that if you even think about murdering someone, you are already guilty of the crime in God's eyes. Might the Mark of Cain, perhaps, be that you were born on this planet? God knows the 'blackness' of your heart and still sent Christ to die for your sins.

(2) A reference to a monster in the movie 'Ghost Busters.'

(3) It's said Donald Trump's father had to rescue him several times from total bankruptcy, poor dad! Given Donald's apparent contempt for the poor and needy, it is easy to imagine that his father also held him in contempt, poor kid! The lesson he learned: 'If I don't need anyone I have nothing to lose! (No one can hurt me!) ' The reality seems to be, however, that there are few people in the world more thin-skinned than Donald Trump!

Nightmare 2. To Wake Up Poor

The idea the wealthy wake up destitute
Seems improbable nightmare. Why should the rich worry?
The 'real' wealth more in habits and friendship than gold,
Who can steal worth of practice or force trust to hurry?

But the ones never taught keys to wealth haunt my dreams,
For all poverty tends to endanger soul's passage,
To delay satisfaction and set aside gain
That might bridge future need, is prosperity's message.


Nightmare 3. To Wake Up a Woman

After three wives, my sister and mom, (I feel faint) ,
There is so much about me that nobody knows yet,
With no kids of my own, my best insights suspect...
Though I fear inner voice, something less is no sonnet.

I would have to turn off burning need to be right,
And perhaps open heart to adopting a daughter,
There's no way that I think I would want to give birth,
Why give birth to a child, men and Trump will just slaughter.


Nightmare 4. To Wake Up a Republican

OMG! Can it be I'm home safe in my bed?
This bad boy was 'togetherness' way past my limit!
Always game, Donald Trump staked his claim! ('It's my fame! ')
But he wisely picked hall with a 'locker room' climate!

Young and old, tall and short, no dissent to report,
Queers (NOT GAY!) , making hay, toes lined up, how they play! While
Trumps homogenized, GMO geese took the stage...
'Heil! ' 'Big Boy! ' razzmatazz, 'Yes! ' 'Big Hands! ' razzmatazz, 'Heil! '

Nightmare 5. To Wake Up Tone Deaf

You may laugh but to me this one's scary as Hell!
It's a dark deprivation, akin to not seeing!
You can hear, but the rainbows of color in sound
Are all missing, all tones are just grey shades of being.

As a child I could hear 'Middle C' in my head
(Some name notes the way you call Rose red, pink, or yellow) ,
All men gifted with 'Relative Pitch' carry tunes,
As can 'Absolute Pitch' man, incredible fellow.

How could music be treasured if all tones were grey,
Could the beauty that's poetry dance with flame absent?
Lord, I weep for the folk who can't see with their ears,
Let me die if You must, but please spare me that torment.

To my heart each new note has the face of a child,
And these kids make the world quite enormously brighter,
Please you Lord, let me be, always your 'Middle C! '
Never lost in a crowd, may I always be fighter.


Nightmare 6. To Wake Up With a 'Big Head! '

Not much worse in the world than a man with 'big head, '
To be one that's so dumb he thinks his poop's important,
No slight ever so small his foot can't find his mouth,
Get too close and you'll feel like you need disinfectant.

Late night comedy writers can lay down their pens,
Here's a man who thinks he makes the sun rise each morning,
Feckless bully who can't keep his pants or lips zipped,
Even Statue of Liberty bows head in mourning.


Nightmare 7. To Not Be A Christian

It's not even your choice when the rubber meets road,
Many claim to be Christian while secretly seething,
They confuse 'faith' with saying that 'Christ is my Lord.'
Although words can be empty, changed hearts show re-birthing.

Rather let me be 'Queer' one the 'pious' reject!
It is Grace and not choice that leads all to the Father
The flock's weeping is useless unless they repent,
Any vote cast for Trump just mob living in anger.

Help me lift up my brother and hate just his sin,
Won't You free me to doubt Lord but teach me to question,
'Living faith' simply dead in those certain they know,
And let Grace and not judgement feed my reinvention.


Nightmare 8. To Lose the Gift of Feeling Heard

Is each person not poet when he spills his heart?
Has your verse lost its edge if it's true no one listens,
Or does God mean that no one is ever alone
And if God hears does that mean He thinks your verse glistens?

If God's real there's no way that He'd diss weakest words,
Even less is the chance He'd dismiss a child's wonder
And your faith that He's real is life's best gift to you,
When you trust God is present, it puts end to plunder.



Nightmare 9. To Lose the Right to Drive

Can you even imagine the day you can't drive?
One thing sure is this change won't be welcome or easy,
All the changes you never saw coming your way
Hit you broadside, now strafing your fleet, kamikase.

Sure you've taken a bus at least once for a joke,
But it's not like you relished the speed or the habit,
Though young drivers are crazy and ought to be banned
As they bounce lane to lane as if they are jackrabbit.

Are your reflexes slow, night signs harder to read?
Well the handwriting's there on the wall for the servant
Don't let safety of others collide with your heart
For life flows much more gently if we are observant.


Nightmare 10. To Wake Up to a World Without Sweetness

After years drinking soda I know that's a curse
And most recognize sugar is truly addictive
But a world without sweetness who's ready for that?
Sure, the absence of sugar would be too restrictive.

It's the same thing with alcohol, also abused
But it's clear that our Lord had a thing for wine growing
And temptation is part of the world Christ embraced,
It's not sacrifice modeled, but mercy Christ's showing.



Nightmare 11. To Wake Up Toothless

To wake up toothless wonder invites death by shame
Just the thought of a servant who's chewing your T-Bone
Or a blender that masticates all to a mush
Makes you dream of a virgin assault none would condone.

Even smile looks quite ghastly without any teeth,
Seems the court jester now is the best you can muster,
There's no pink to your cheeks and no tightness of jowl,
But at least you've orange hair and have more friends than Custer!


Nightmare 12. To Feel No Pain

Sometimes folks say a drunk man is 'feeling no pain, '
Other times it's a choice, ignore pain of your brothers,
Any time you block pain you imprison your soul,
And you model how you would be treated by others.

Couched in terms of self-interest, pain can be friend,
It's degree of sensation that causes the problem,
If your lover's touch thrills you, pain warns you of fire,
If you want better life, scorn purveyors of Pablum.



Nightmare 13. To Wake Up Bald

For a man to be bald seems a terrible fate
And a woman who has thinning hair no trend setter,
There's a joke bald man's horny but horny with whom?
Which makes internet sex look much better and better.

There are men who choose baldness and women short hair,
But I think they enjoy a minority status,
There is always a wig, tattooed head would be cool
Where's the pride when you share what a fool can have gratis?


Nightmare 14. To Wake Up Fat and Ugly (It's No Dream Don!)

It's no fun, come to that, doing battle with fat,
Humpty Dumpty Olympics won't help you move forward,
Aches and pains, wheelchairs, canes, and a wardrobe that wanes,
It seems gravity's plan for a man is just downward.

In Trump's tower or cave, from the cradle to grave,
President or a joke, there is no one to save you,
Two bit player on stage, numb nut jokes, pansy rage,
You'll be lucky if you get a small cell in Bellevue.



Nightmare 15. To Wake Up King of the Hill

Can I be only one who thinks Trump would be King?
Although Putin's a 'strong' man, Trump seems much more childlike.
He wants comic book versions of status reports,
While he finally climbs on his safety wheeled 'First Trike.'

It seems clear our 'First Bully' thinks bluster's enough,
My what fun it will be when he's floored by regret debts,
With no father to bail him out what will he do?
And no black nanny now to help Don clean soiled assets.

Our new 'king of the hill' suffers most from small hands,
For America's fading is like global warming,
Rich man's ignorance buying us climatic change,
Anti-scientists govern by anti-brainstorming.

So all hail to our chief who is dumber than coal,
May his lack of diversity subvert his air time,
And the nations learn lesson as liberty dies,
For the world needs more poets to save flat lined Trump rhyme.

Some say 'Let's give him time and just see what he does! '
Bless a terrorist crying out 'Fire' in theater?
Well the anarchist Antichrist trembles with glee
As Trump's duped victims save him fresh trip to the gutter.


Brian Johnston
January 21,2017