Pen Again Poem by Nassy Fesharaki

Pen again

Don't know why
-today I feel being dynamite
-volcano, spit out my lava
-is something in waiting?
-will I die?
-did the call yesterday
-after long… "Wrote my Will! "
-ignite me?

Let's ignore what the cause
-I must write

I must write; write, write

When settled in Russia
-could feel the aftershock
-Gorbachev to Yeltsin and Putin

What we see in the West
-as fall of Soviets
-a simple time passage
-was in fact Earthquake
-for the local people
-with the earth beneath them
-as shaky as jelly

Living in the Cold War
-for Moscow and White House
-was time for brain wash
-both ploughed the brains
-sowing seeds of fear

Fear needs suspicion…
-and that was everywhere

Remember the Goddamn McCarthy?
-practice in school' of fearful hidings?

All trees and plants
-all the doors, ways, windows
-all hotels, restaurants
-all kettles and teapots
-all plates, silver cups
-could belong to spies

To feel, sense in exact…
-listen to Donald Trump
-he is a recorder, repeated his message
- "Only we, USA…and world is our slave! "

Soviets were afraid
-of shadows and the shades
-read book of George Orwell
-the "Nineteen-Eighty-Four"

The honest and pure, brainwashed
-the same were the workers, general
-and also, researchers, academia
-they lived on monthly pay
-loved the looks of respect

Pages turned with fall of Soviets
-academia in bazaar?

Elderly and professors
-ended where had to sell
-whatever they had saved
-or buy-sell and feel shame
-there was no alternate
-and that was only way! ! !
- "Either die with respect or feel shame! "

Time was ripe for crime, criminals
-corrupt and connected they bought the
- "Privatised! "
-first owner after fall, is killer or knifer…
-in some way…

The same was landlord of restaurant
- (where I worked,) and I went horn to horn
-crazy and without documents
-but somehow connected
- "You want fight? Let us fight…"
-I told them "...in the court? On the road? ! "