Pathetic Poem by Andrus Cassian

To never be happy again, I announced it; at the time perfectly justified
now regret is the tennis ball on my side of the court
I fear it may have been a declaration of Surrender
a personal skeleton song to place the lyrics on the closet door
transformed into a personal petition against myself
Explanation, it would explain so much yet so little just the same
The tired cliche, 'Oh how the mighty have fallen', still sings like a canary
but the eagle in my words causes it to become mute
I have never been mighty in my life, just a few knots below treacherous
The facade I carry carries me into my own invincibility
would you believe invincibility demands vulnerability
and vulnerability places me in front, the first slave to fight
but I'm the first to lose, cast aside with a lost arm
while someone else takes the glory meant for me
Weakness weighs deep; even a room can't contain me
I have sold my ability to breathe to overdose on nitrogen again
The rising crevice in my stomach burns like oil across a lake
Is it only my asthma returning or a combination of something worse
The results hang in the air like damp clothes on a clothesline
An assistance of a psychiatric, it's been requested yet protested by me
I can do it all on my own but the accomplishments I've made on my own
none
This may be my only chance to correct this but I want so very bad to refuse this
but I'm not Taproot, I can't claim no surrender, surrender
I hang my head in defeat while placing my rebellious pride somewhere I can't remember
and waste away in the comfort of my comforter
The point in being mobile, I see none, if I need a constant manual
stating 'The Fundamentals of Breathing'
Laughing it off, impossible, unavailable now
Well why not; the punchline has always been me...
but the punchline has decomposed into a bag of dust
Pathetic...