Not In My Tomorrow Poem by Randy McClave

I wished I had some drugs today
As I remember the pleasures from yesterday,
When I was both happy and free and high
And I never asked myself why.
I had some great memories then
But, I don't remember if I committed a sin,
I know that I must of had a lot of fun
But, sadly that moment is all done.

I wished I had another drink of alcohol
They say I was funny when I did fall,
But, the drink I had to give it up
I'm not even allowed one small cup.
I still remember the times being drunk at home and in bars
And also being inebriated when I drove cars,
And how I always staggered when I walked
Slurred was all my words when I talked.

I wish I had a cigarette to smoke
They always made me feel so very stoke,
But, I gave them up many years ago
But, they gave me the greatest relief a person could ever know.
Now I stand around those who huff and cough and puff
The smell of burnt tobacco I just can't get enough,
Sometimes I'll even buy smokers their cigarettes
With no thoughts of cancer or worries or regrets.

I remember the many happy pleasures of my past
But, only in my memories will they ever last,
When I smoked, drank and took drugs I was happy
But, now many times with those thoughts I feel crappy.
Sometimes I miss all those many yesterdays
When I was stoned, drunk and smoking with a craze,
But, now when I look in the mirror their effects give me sorrow
Now, I am happy and glad they are not in my tomorrow.

Randy L. McClave