Never Hold The Phone Like That Poem by Paul Reed

Never hold the phone between shoulder and neck
You'll do it for ten years and then say 'O Heck! '
Your neck will go into spasm and you'll be in pain
And you'll swear you'll never do it again

The problem then is that the hurt wont go away
And you book in for physio the very next day
He asks 'How long have you been holding the phone like that? '
You say 'a few months' and he soon smells a rat

'I bet its more like ten years you've been using your shoulder
To support the phone and as you get older
The neck vertebrae get tightened and it's a cinch
That the nearest nerve ending will feel the pinch'

The discomfort goes on and on and you can go
For six months, even with regular physio
In total agony, and of yourself you demand
'Why the hell didnt I hold the phone in my hand? '